Three years ago, I would’ve said something to the fact that family is important to me because we can deal with the problems together. Back then I didn’t realize how profoundly my family could affect me. I knew we were close, but I didn’t realize how close. So when things started to break apart, my family went too. How did it get from storybook fantasy to burning in the misery the adults created, you may ask? Well, I have to take you back through a couple of memories that will make you understand why family is important to me and how the dynamics have changed. Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows anyone (Twain). Sometimes we don’t have a clue as to what is truly going on in people’s lives, but we only see their actions and we wonder why.

My Uncle Merritt and I had been extremely close. My family would go down to his house and have bonfires with the entire family. We would sit next to the fire pit in our lawn chairs and I would sit next to my uncle. He use to tell me how he was the there to see me born, how beautiful I was, and how sorry he was, when he was drinking. I believe my uncle was happier then with his wife and kids until his lost their dream house and moved into the trailer park and had an additional child, Baby Ava. He lost it one night and then he slowly lost everything else. My mom came down in my room where my sister and I were talking about school and what not, and she told us how Uncle Merritt and Aunt Jess had a huge fight. Because my aunt locked out my uncle, he ended up climbing into his van, even though he had been drinking heavily, and drove away. I faced towards the wall, unwilling to make eye contact, tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t understand why my uncle in his right mind would do this? But the thing was, he wasn’t in his right mind!

I couldn’t believe when my Aunt Jess, the glue of our family left. Our family has never been the same from birthdays to New Year’s Eve. Anyway, the next heart breaking point I would have never guessed would happen at my cousin, Montanna’s eighth birthday party. My Uncle Merritt had been drinking, he could bearly stand on his own two feet. He looked at who was already there, my grandma, grandpa, MacKenzie, Baby Ava and my Cousin Dustin (my uncle’s nephew), said, Well, everybody who’s here is important. Trying to ease the pain of his daughter’s heart because how is she suppose to know why they didn’t come. Dustin called his parents, my Aunt Sara and Uncle Kenny, who didn’t have a clue that the party was going on and within twenty minutes they were there. As they came through the door, they atmosphere became tense and before I knew it my uncle was verbally fighting with my Uncle Kenny. The tension grew and my Uncle Merritt stood up with Baby Ava in his arms pushing my Uncle Kenny. My grandma’s anxious voice cried out, Merritt, your daughter is in your arms, he didn’t listen. I couldn't sit there and watch what was happening in front of my vary eyes so I left. But five minutes later I came back, Montanna was crying and I turn around my Cousin Dustin appears so frustrated and walks into a different room. There had been a fist fight between him and my Uncle Merritt. My attention turned towards the girls, eight and younger, they were all crying. I sat down on the couch and they crawled into my lap and I told them that, You are beautiful. Daddy still loves you. We still love you. Don’t cry. I will always be here for you, nothing will separate us. I couldn’t believe what happened and I was so caught off guard.
I tried to keep it together, I really did. I waited there until Aunt Jessie came to pick up the girls and they wanted me to say good-bye. With tears nearly permeating down my face, I love you and everything will be okay. I told my mom that I was going for a walk and soon I started to run and run until I ran out of breath. When I arrived home, my sister ran out to meet me and into my arms. Once inside, I went directly to my room, hit that bed, and bawled. I cried, and screamed until my throat was sore and I kept crying. When Mom came in, I held onto her as if she was my last breath and all I could ask was, Why? My Uncle Merritt has never been this angry and bitter, so hurtful. I don’t know this man, I refuse to!
Today, January 18, 2012, my new definition of why family is important to me well, to be quite frank, the importance of family is love. My Uncle Merritt will never realize what he’s destroyed since his divorce from his ex-wife, but I know deep within his heart he’ll love again. Because love was destroyed and the only thing that will fix that, is love, he use to be the moon, and… [the]… dark side which he never show[ed] (Twain). However, now that the dark side is always there and he’s given up on everything concerning relationships, and how heartbreaking is that. I lost him, that Uncle who enjoyed the music I made, and the one who was so proud on how I did at school. Now, all he does is make cutting remarks that leaves these invisible scars in my heart and it’s so hard to forgive. I like to think that love can heal, that it’s the medicine my uncle needs to heal his heart. I love my uncle, but I’ve lost so much. I’ve lost other family members and nobody is there anymore, so nobody to talk to, nobody to cry to, nobody to play with, and nobody to have a relationship with. Family grows on love, when it’s not there a family grow apart and mine did. Family is important to me because it’s everything and a piece of my heart that I will never have again until my family starts to love again and is that too much to ask for?