We’ve all heard it before: the concerned friend/family member that feels they need to remind you of your self worth, dignity, and what they think you need in your life. Every sincere and (supposed) encouraging phrase is just another stab at what’s left of your pride and it’s another reminder of how sad your life has become ever since that one special person stopped seeing you the same way.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” This statement is heartbreaking on its own because it’s true! ...To some extent. We want to push all the blame to the person who did this to us because we all believed they wouldn’t. Now look, the damage has been done and we haven’t done a thing to repair ourselves. The core truth in this is that there’s tendency to forget that the only person who’s in total control of what you say, feel, or do is only yourself. You become so caught up in feeling hurt and sorry for yourself that you push the quick fix to the way back of your head. Today or tomorrow can be a great day on its own, but it will be a better one if you believe it and make it happen. Although you may not be intentionally doing anything to yourself to make you feel worse, having those mini regrets of “should’ve, would’ve, could’ve” is not doing you any favors.

“You don’t deserve this, you can do better, and you deserve better.” Now all of a sudden, said moral support is the all-knowing of “Deservity” (yes, I made that up, but it makes sense). It’s hard to be mad at them for suddenly being the dictator of your life (in some way) because their intentions are clear. What you’re going through shouldn’t be experienced by anyone especially if you’re someone they care about. The point of this phrase is for you to remember your own self-morals. Are you in any way degrading your own integrity? Were things in a different light, would you have believed this is something you wanted? Something you deserved? I can say from experience: people will tell you over and over again that you deserve better and you will tell these people over and over again that you can’t do better because they’re the best, they’re what’s best for you. Although that may have been true once upon a time or will be true somewhere in the future, your present is where you are and you should treat it like the gift it is. Until you, yourself believe that there will be someone out there who won’t leave you in this negative pit that you’ve dug yourself in, you’re going to stay stuck in there waiting for the hand that’s already reached for someone else. You know what I’m sayin’?

I chose these two phrases because they’re ones that I’ve been guilty of using myself, but not without the explanations I’ve put behind them. They’re so common that some people get sick of hearing them and start to believe that these powerful words mean nothing and that it’s okay to doubt them. It’s never okay and these words will be repeated until they mean something to you. No matter who’s putting you through this, remember these 3 things:

Your feelings will never be wrong because that’s what your heart honestly expresses.
If there is fault to be admitted, admit to it and forgive yourself.
Don’t worry about the person who sees you as a part of their world, remember those who see you as their world.