It is a small, pathetic thing to be depressed over losing a boyfriend in high school...I know that I shouldn't be like this, and everyone says, "You're 17, you're young! There are plenty more fish in the sea!" I know this to be true, and because I have been through heartache before, I know that I can fight through it again.

It feels harder this time, and I know how "teenager" that sounds...but I am..well I was...a 17 year old with morals. I strongly believed in NO SEX BEFORE MARRIGE. I have always believed that sex is only for the person that you truly love and that truly loves you. It is an act of love that should only be shared with one other person in your life...

My sophomore year, my boyfriend of 3 years had brOKen up with me. In that time, I had thought that I would never again find love...but God sent me what I thought was my guardian angel...J. He was everything that I wanted, and everything I knew that I needed. I knew that I loved him because I did not tell him those three words right away like the rest of my relationships. I knew that I loved him because I would smile and my heart would skip a beat literally every time I would loOK upon his face. We both gave into our guilty pleasures 8 months into our relationship...OK so maybe to some it seems too soon, but it is longer that most people wait now a days.

I truly loved J. Even after we gave ourselves to each other. He was/is my soul mate, and that is why this is breaking me so much...because I thought he loved me, I thought he would never leave...but now I sit here...typing this with trembling fingers and tears in my eyes saying that the one that I love does not want to be with me anymore. Maybe I feel this way because the wound is still fresh..maybe I am just a pathetic 17 year old girl...I don't know. But how do I move on from this? With my beliefs, how can I simply move on to the next guy? And furthermore, how could I ever be with another guy after spending a year and a half of my life with the one guy who made me happier than I have ever been in my life? I give you this advice reader, if you haven't already given yourself away....do not give yourself away in high school...because it will only hurt you in the end. Statistics show that only 5% of high school couples become high school sweethearts....i sadly will not be a part of this percent...maybe you will be more lucky if you have someone special. Hold on to the one you love, and treat them right, because you never know...they might just wake up one day and decide they are tired of it...and don't give up on love...not always does it end in heartache...