Break-Ups can leave you sad and depressed, and people always wonder what to do in a time like this. Well, your prayers have been answered! Here are fast easy steps to follow to conquer your break up and feel success again!
Step 1: When you get dumped, it usually doesn't end up pretty...for you anyways. You'll feel lonely inside, so go to the pet store and buy around 20 cats. You'll have something that CAN'T leave your side...ever.
Step 2: Go to your food store and buy at least 5 jars of chocolate ice cream and make sure to get a very LARGE spoon.
Step 3: When you get home from your shopping, get out one of your jars of ice cream, grab a spoon and start digging in! While you're enjoying your ice cream turn on your TV and watch something that will clear your mind and forget about your worthless boyfriend/girlfriend. I promise you all that we'll be on are those life time shows where the girlfriend/boyfriend gets dumped, goes crazy for revenge, and kills the person that dumps them. By the end of that movie you'll be really worked up to do this next step!
Step 4: Get out your phone and call up your recent ex and yell at him/her for a bunch of things- even if they don't make sense. If they don't answer, make sure to keep calling and leave a bunch of voice mails that are super long with lectures! Warning: If he warns you that he or she is going to call the cops on you, I'm pretty sure that's when you stop calling.
Step 5: Once he/she gives you that warning go to that person's house and knock on his/her door with anger! Once he/she answers tell him/her off and don't stop till he/she sees your point! And I mean REALLY see your point. If he/she just slams the door keep knocking and be very persistent. Once you see those cop car lights and hear the sirens that your time to make a run for it.
Step 6: This is the part where you change your number, change your email, change your name, identity and move to Canada (or any other country if you live in Canada) and hide forever. Your a fugitive!
Step 7: Once your in your new country you will most likely find your next "special someone", and this cycle will repeat all over again.
So once you take this advice your Break up will be totally forgotten and you can always repeat this! By this time I'm sure your with a better person!-Or dead in a ditch- I mean safe and sound! Good luck with the advice! (You'll need it!)