I often find myself wondering if this is the life I wanna live. Do I want to be the woman soo belittled by a man. I feel soo alone most days and I may not know a lot but I know that’s not how it should be. I've created this family and life with him yet I feel as though he doesn't want it anymore. He acts as though he hates both of us for ruining his life or making his life an inconvenience. I hadn't meant to.
I have soo much faith in this man. Everyday hoping it will be the last day he calls me or our son a name but its not. And my faith is disappearing. How can I love a man who acts as though he hates my guts? Who gets a thrill from seeing my pain from the harsh words that make him feel better?
He doesn't see the damage he causes. The internal damages that eats at me day by day. He thinks saying sorry makes it right and the pain and hurt just goes away, but it doesn't. it is still there. Everyday.