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Children of Divorced Parents
Children of Divorced Parents
‘’’Eighty percent of adolescents in mental hospitals and sixty percent of the children in psychiatric clinics were products of divorce’’’ (Shaffran, Michael. ‘The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children’’). When parents have fights it is wrong for them to drag their children into it. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, so arguments are common. Everyone wants to be the victim, but no one wants to be the culprit. Putting children on the spot is a lot of pressure for them. The results of divorce can be gruesome on them, causing them to fail in school, do drugs, commit crimes, and may lead to an early death. Even though divorce on children can be good because it prepares kids for tough situations and may lower abuse, parents should not drag their children into their divorce problems because it causes mental issues and usage of drugs.
Mental issues become very common on this topic. The first part of having it can be blame or depression. When a divorce happens they normally blame themselves for the result since they do not know the reason. They feel guilty for making them get a divorce. Depending on age the whole answer is not needed but at least let them know that it was not their fault. School behavior becomes a factor as well. However they may have acted before will more than likely change. With all the stress around them, their attitude will change and they won’t care about school because what’s the point of doing good if when you go home your other parent isn’t home to congratulate them. Parents are normally the role models for their kids, so they want their life to be the same. Going back to telling your kids why you got a divorce is very important. If you only say all the bad things about your ex-spouse, which is the only way they are going to see them as. This may even lead to how they will feel about that certain gender or genders and will affect their future relationships (Arreola, Joseph. Child Development). This will cause them to have trust issues or even worse towards them and it will be hard to change the opinion you have on them. Every issue that begins leads to more stress and makes it harder to handle. Many children can’t cope with all the stress given to them, so they believe drugs will solve their problems.
Drugs; what everyone believes is the solution to all of their problems. When the pain gets too hard to handle everyone needs a way out, so they look to drugs. In their opinion the nicotine in cigarettes soothes their emotions, making them calmer. What they fail to accept is the fact that it harms you and causes more stress. The first couple of puffs are the worst because that’s when the addiction starts. When they become addicted it’s harder to get them off and ganging up on telling them to stop won’t help. The amount of depression they have may lead to self-harm and an early death. This is another way they believe is the right way. I know things may be hard and it’s not fair that you have to deal with this, but you were brought into this world for reason and that reason was not to end it all before you know why.
Even though most people would disagree with the idea and say that divorce is good and the best way, they are wrong. Dragging children into the situation will not only hurt you, but also them. Divorce will not stop abuse because depending on the parent you live with, the one that was abusive may gain custody over you. Gaining custody over the child may be even worse because in a way you’re forbidding the child and parent to see each other, slowly ruining their relationship.
Divorce can prepare kids for difficult problems and may stop abuse, but that does not give them the right to force their children into the problems. The ways parents pull them into the divorce causes mental issues to develop over time and leads to drugs. If parents stop being so careless about how they act around their kids about divorce, there is no doubt that the amount of problems they gain will decrease. They will have a better understanding of how it was not their fault. Everyone wants to be the victim, but no one wants to be the culprit.
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