"Revenge," they say, "is a dish best served cold." In layman's terms: when someone has done you wrong, the best way to go about exacting retribution for what they've done to you is through emotional detachment and careful planning. On paper, this checks out. Who would want to receive a plate of cold food? It would be fairly unpleasant. However, there are discrepancies that I feel must be addressed.

Let's say someone betrays you, and let's also say that that someone is your best friend. Let's imagine that the way in which this supposed "best friend" of yours betrays you is of taboo proportions-- maybe they told your crush that one embarrassing story that was never meant to leave their ears. Maybe they took credit for something you did, something you're immensely proud of. Basically, imagine them doing unto you what you'd never even dream of doing unto them. They made your blood boil, feel like an absolute piece of defecate, and question your allegiance to them. "Why do I put up with this?" you ask yourself. "I deserve so much better. And they deserve far worse."

And, thus, vengeful intentions brew up within you.

How will you go about these initial ideas, though? Perhaps you choose to ignore them outright. There's a very noticeable change of aura about you that can be felt within a ten-foot radius. "I'm not pleased with you" vibes seeping out from your pores and through the skin of any bystander, including your best friend. Don't initiate any interactions. Make them realize that you're upset.

Then there's the more active course of action: the kind that really gets your message across. Maybe it's a slow-going one: you stop letting them copy your homework and working with them on group projects, slowly watching their academic career burn; you spread rumors about them, then let them evolve through the ears of those within the community. You might even decide to employ far more vicious and physical means: a sword duel or poison through the ear, a la Hamlet.

Okay, so, maybe the methods I've chosen to list are a little far-fetched, but even through hyperbole, I believe my point is made clear. The raw supper you're presenting to the table isn't for your mortal enemy. Au contraire, mon ami: the platter is for you to enjoy. Human beings are innately selfish, especially when it comes to retaliation. You're doing it all for yourself, dear one. The commonly recognized dish of payback lacks a very vital ingredient for the meal to be truly and completely satisfying: passion. The burning, searing passion that will cook your banquet to a piping and fulfilling feast, all for you to savor. Delicious.

Why would you ever want it cold?