Boys are wild beasts that come in all different kinds of shapes and sizes, some of them even have personalities. There are the sweet guys, the guys you either love or hate, and the arrogant guys. Duckie from Pretty in Pink, Ferris Buller from Ferris Buller’s Day Off, and John Tucker from John Tucker Must Die all emblematize the boys that most girls have come to know. Girls that have not yet seen the ways of these three types of boys should be given a guide to strictly explain what boys they should and should not associate with.

The “Sweetheart”
Duckie is the sweet and extremely sensitive kind of guy that every girl would love to have by their side. He is the guy that is forever stuck in an imaginary place otherwise known as the “friendzone.” Duckie is trapped in this unfortunate place because he is incredibly caring and overly protective just like an older brother. Guys like Duckie are known to be fashionistas and they are also known to be highly opinionated. This type of boy reminds me of my close friend Gage. Gage always has something to say and he is not afraid to speak his mind. Duckie says, “It’s called a sense of humor – you should get one they’re nice” which is something Gage would totally say. He is stylish and nowhere near mainstream. Gage is a complete goofball with an outstanding personality just like Duckie. Guys like Duckie and Gage are one of a kind, very rare, and extraordinary. Duckie is supportive and actually listens to what a girl has to say; thoughts do not go in one ear and out the other with this type of boy. Relationships with guys like Duckie are strictly platonic never ever anything more. This special boy is the one you go to for help with another boy or simply when you do not know what to wear for a date or just the next day of school. Duckie is the boy you want to keep around because he is honest, supportive, and considerate. Guys have a tendency to disappear like warm breathe in cool air, but guys like Duckie will stand by you through thick and thin and not to mention they look out for a girl’s emotions before their own. The world truly needs more males that resemble Duckie.

The “Class Clown”
Ferris Buller is that guy that you either really like or he is the guy you CANNOT stand. Ferris is just like sushi, some people cannot get enough of the delicious fish and others gag at the sight of the strange food. Boys like Ferris are the kings of the school and the students are their peasants that kiss their feet and bow down before them. While he has the whole school wrapped around his finger, the principal and his sister Jeanie can see directly through him. Ferris is a troublemaker that loves to live life on the edge, like an adrenaline junky. He gets away with just about anything when it comes to faking a life-threatening sickness or just skipping school for no reason. Boys like Ferris are social, confident, and humorous. Ferris is carefree and never has a thought out plan; therefore he just goes with the flow. He is the type of guy that a girl can get incredibly annoyed with depending on what day it is. This boy’s listening skills on a scale from 1 to 10 are a solid zero. He does not listen to what anyone has to say, he just does what he, and only he, wants.  Other times this kind of boy can be a total softy and hit you with the “marry me?” Guys like Ferris are as unpredictable as Arizona’s weather. If you are thrill seeker looking for danger and adventure, this boy is perfect for you. Ferris is the boy you want to spend all your time with even though you know your parents would not approve of him. He is the definition of a good time which is the upside to this boy, but the downside to this boy is that he is not so crystal clear. Boys like Ferris can be loathed one day and treasured the next, and you never know what this type of boy is capable of.

The “Heartbreaker”
John Tucker is the big headed narcissistic jerk that every single girl seems to fall for. He is the magic man who has all the tricks and mind games to make any girl fall head over heels in love with him. Guys like John Tucker want all eyes on him at all times like the ring leader in the center of a circus act. Girls always say how they never want to associate with ego maniacs like John but they always find themselves caught in his web. This type of boy is athletic and knows how to work the charm with the ladies. Guys like John are charming and all but do not let looks deceive you because they are cold hearted monsters. They are big dumb jocks that only care about how many phone numbers they can get and how big their muscles are. Boys like John are dishonest and sneaky like “Swiper the Fox” from Dora the Explorer but of course way worse than a silly little cartoon. In the movie John Tucker Must Die John dates three different girls that come from three different worlds. A hippie, a cheerleader, and a brainiac catch John in his heartless act. He dated three girls all at the same time and he felt no guilt, no nothing. Boys like John are full of crap from head to toe because everything this boy says is a big fat lie. Guys like John are truly despicable and should take some lessons from Ferris, or even Duckie. Boys like John are liars, cheaters, and all around bad guys. What’s weird is that girls know how these guys work and they still find themselves wanting them, like they have been slipped a drug that consisted of infatuation and obsession. Boys like John give a girl hope that they have a true connection but then he rips that connection away either quickly or slowly leaving the poor girl vulnerable. This type of boy will reel you in and let you go like you are just another other fish in the sea. Do not fall for a boy like John Tucker because all you will be left with is thick black tears that cause you to go nearly blind and a heart broken into two.