I think about her every day. I feel like she’s a part of me, even though she really isn’t. I’ve loved her since I was a freshman in grade school, and so was she. We actually only started talking towards the end of the year, until someone convinced me to switch to another messenger application. That’s the first mistake I made, really, and I still regret it this very day. In my second year some friend of her started talking to me (that very day I had no idea they were close friends) and tried to hook me up with her in a very subtle way. I lied to myself and pretended I didn’t like her anymore. I told her I wasn’t desperate enough to date her—a very harsh insult for which I am dreadfully ashamed of. Around the second half of that school year, we had a trip to England, and as we usually do on trips abroad, we hang together all week. I started realizing I still loved this girl, but at this time around she was flirting with another dude, so I hid it from her. Because of the trip we started talking again, and yet again we drifted apart. In my third year the story repeated itself. We went on a trip abroad and as usual we spent our time together. We actually kept in contact with each other after it, but not as regularly as heretofore. At the start of our fourth year she engaged a new relationship with a boy from another class—naturally, I was very jealous of her. April came about and there was trip abroad, this time to Spain. Since we were a class of ten by that time, we had strong bonds. That aside, we started hanging again on the last night our class had some fun. It was my first time getting drunk, and only about half of our class was drunk. Still loving her, I made my confession towards her, and this put us in a really awkward position. Next morning I wanted to talk to her tête-a-tête, but she refused, because I reeked of booze. Once we arrived back to our home town, I asked her via a messenger to talk in private once school started again (which was the week after that), but I heard from her friend that she already suspected that I had a crush on her so I left it for what it was. To this day I still regret not asking her out and keeping in contact with her when I had the chance to.