High School, home to the infamous halls, filled to the brim with opinions, testosterone, insecurities, and the big question: who’s dating who? When it comes to relationships, there are many factors to consider, such as: who, when, for what reasons, and for how long? All are key questions, requiring wisdom, discernment, and and a sound mind… it’s up to you to decide if High Schoolers have the best credentials for such decisions. However, the biggest question to consider is, “why?”. Is the (potential) relationship based out of love or lust, what is accessible in said relationship that is not obtainable through friendship?

The perfect guy. Depending on who’s eyes you look through, favorable traits may include varying height, hair color, humor (or lack thereof). However, the question many young women should be asking themselves is simple: “What are his intentions?”

The perfect girl. Contingent on the suitor, she may have a unique style, personality, hair style, and a list of distinct physical attributes. Yet, how often do growing men consider, “Where does she want this to go?”

What is the best thing to do? Stop, process, and react.

Stop. You can’t clearly assess your current situation while in your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s arms. Take a moment, when on your own, to survey your heart about your personal wishes. Take these thoughts and compare them to questions you ask of your counterpart. Do you have similar goals, are the two of you tracking together?

Process. Ask questions and really think about what the answers imply. For example, if one member of a relationship wants to “go with the flow”, it raises the questions of, “what pace has been set, where is the flow headed, what is the foundation keeping us afloat?”

If your automatic reaction is to pull back and question the necessity of such processing, that poses the question of your maturity and readiness for a relationship.

React. What are you going to do about it? You and your partner are in this together, if you aren’t on the same page, you should get there. If you are both going in different directions entirely, a different conversation needs to be had. Don’t go all this way to learn and dive deeper without ever doing something about it. From here you must ask yourself, “what’s next?”

Love and lust are two very different things, both of which are two common factors that drive High School relationships. You can be in it for a future, or in it for the immediate needs. Either way, it evokes a unique lifestyle and approach to dating. If you are wise, you can support someone and be there for them in every way as in a relationship. What is missing between a relationship and freindship: a label, a physical bond, expectations? Everything in the world of love is left to interpretation.

In the end, knowing someone’s intentions is crucial before attaching yourself to their yoke. Relationships are not meant to be blown off, or viewed as measly experiments to gain “experience”. However, a relationship, when done right, sets you up with someone to love for the rest of your life. Relationships are stepping stones to the future, not temporary buoys to pass on the way out to the lake. These opinions- these theories- are meant to challenge the way today’s youth thinks. It is meant to push them to look beyond the surface, and cause question of their relationships future and immediate intentions.