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Until Death Do Us Part?
We all have heard of the phrase “until death do us part”. Some of us may have even said it ourselves. This wedding vow phrase, promised by each partner in a couple, implies a lifelong commitment to each other until death separates the two of them. But as time passes, initial attraction may fade, marital conflicts may arise, and your “Mr. Perfect” or “Mrs. Perfect” who you married may just become an ordinary person to you. This is why divorce rates have increased over the years, with about 40% of all marriages in the United States today ending in divorces, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Divorce is like a death of the family, especially to the children, but if it is inevitable, it could also mean an end to marital disputes, yet at the cost of social and emotional health. But why does this matter for those of us who are not married let alone divorced? It matters because this issue is important and you may, believe it or not, possibly end up in this position in the future. However, to prevent this from happening and decrease divorce rates, the public, especially the younger generations, needs to be aware of the criticality of marriage so that couples have a clear mentality before going into a marriage.
Divorce is a topic that should not be taken lightly. At the turn of the last century, divorce rates have been increasing consistently. Why is this, you ask? One of the most critical reasons for this is the establishment of the no-fault divorce law. Before the 1960s, the spouse was required to give proof that their husband or wife had committed an act that would justify their action of filing for divorce. Possible acts included adultery, cruelty, and abandonment, according to Encyclopedia Britannica Online. Now, couples can divorce without any requirements or proof of fault. However, many people are sitting on the fence about this law. The law is making divorce seem much more acceptable since it is becoming a normal part of life. An example of this is Britney Spears’s impromptu marriage with Jason Alexander. Their marriage broke off in just 55 hours! It seems like because divorce is more efficient than before, some people take advantage of that and go into a marriage knowing that they have divorce as a backup if their marriage does not work out the way they want it to.
Divorce affects family, friends, and of course themselves. Behind every divorce holds not only broken bonds and relationships, but also a broken environment for the children. A child’s life and development could change dramatically because of divorce. Divorce may lead to a susceptibility to emotional problems, poverty, crime, and drug and alcohol use as a way to relieve their stress. Children of divorced parents are also more likely to experience a loss of self esteem since they are not able to live with both parents and may feel abandoned or alone because of that. Like Lisa Guerin, J.D. says, “no child would want their parents to use them as pawns in an ongoing battle”. Additionally, because of the divorce, the children would have to get used to just one parent taking care of them. Living arrangements would change and children would not be able to spend time with both their parents at the same time. This ruins the healthy relationships between a child and the parents.
According to CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics, divorces spiked at the end of World War II since many couples married before the war out of the need for economic security, rather than true love. They married before they could realize their differences and unsuitability with each other. This reason could explain today’s rates of divorce- that couples marry before truly understanding and knowing their spouse and marry for reasons other than love. They may be marrying too early in their age, thinking that it is their “true love”. This could explain why people in their 20s have the highest divorce rates out of all the age groups, according to the Office for National Statistics.
But, I know hoping for all marriages not to end up with divorces is a fantasy. Not all couples will be able to live happily ever after. If divorce is inevitable, it is true that it may be the best option whether it is for the kids or for the spouses. The marriage may have put them in dangerous situations and divorce is able to get them into a safer and more stable environment. Dangerous situations could include abusive spouse or continual marital dispute. Parental conflict influences children negatively and is detrimental to their happiness and security. If divorce means an end to that, there is no reason to try to prevent that from happening. Living in an environment with one parent is better than living in an environment of abuse or continual conflict between the parents. Not many divorces end well but it could be the best option for everyone in the family.
People nowadays do not realize how big of a deal marriage is since they know how accessible divorce is if it does not work out. To salvage this problem about divorce rates, people need to have the right mentality before going into a relationship and marriage. Divorce is not there to be used freely since it comes with many drawbacks. To decrease the divorce rate, status of marriage needs to be redefined. Marriage is a commitment; it is a promise that should endure forever with your partner until death do you two part. Marriage is about having a happy and healthy relationship, one filled with trust and love. That should be taken into strong consideration before going into a marriage. Divorce is an unpleasant common reality in our society and may seem like an easy way out, but it is an open door to the deterioration of one’s emotional and social health.
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This is a topic that I wanted to write about for a while. It is a way to try to aware the public of the increasing rates of divorce and hopefully shine a light on the criticality of marriage.