Friendships are like shoes. When you are little, your mother always tells you that you have to buy a size bigger for when your feet grow. She also says that it is okay if your shoes have too much room in them, even though they are uncomfortable. Friendships are similar in that when you are younger, you are constantly changing, growing, and developing as a person. Through new experiences, people are bound to develop new interests. Becoming more mature through drastic or even the subtlest of changes can cause friendships to change. Some people do not have as much of a constant change of friends as others. Most of the time, this depends on which people in your life are stronger and are willing to fight, just like that pair of shoes that is miraculously still held together by a thread. I am one of those people who has changed friends or friend groups over time. I am also one of those who has one friend that is closer to me than all others. As I grow and mature into a different person, I will find and lose people in my life just as you have to buy new shoes when you grow out of your old ones. Whether I gain a new friend or lose an old one, I become more and more aware of what I am looking for in a friend, or even a best friend.

Everyone has a different view of what friendship is and what qualifies as a good friend. For me, I like people with similar interests. Just like how I have my own taste in shoe styles.  For example, back when I was in preschool, my friend and I, who later became my best friend, bonded over a movie that we both enjoyed. I don’t exactly remember all of the details, but she was my best friend for the majority of my years in preschool and elementary school. I also look for people who are considerate. I want shoes that look good as well as feel comfortable. One former friend of mine only talked about herself. I always asked her how she was doing or how she felt about that math test, but she never returned the favor. She always used to talk about herself and her problems, but never bothered to ask about me. Lastly, I am more drawn to people who are affable and can make me laugh. Even if the shoes are a little too big and I trip sometimes in them, I can laugh it off with my friends. Friendship is not possible without happiness. What is the point of having a friend that does not make your happy? Friends are supposed to help you through hard times and to keep you on your feet.

When someone asks, “who is your best friend?” most of the time, people say they have too many. It is hard to choose one specific person when you have a lot of friends. My best friend does not go to school with me and does not live in my town. She is more open with me than anyone else, as I am with her. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. Being too open with someone that isn’t related to you can cause problems. My best friend at this moment has been my friend for over nine years now. Considering it has been more than half of my lifetime, I know what to expect, how to act, and how to react. My best friend and I fight all the time. I sometimes can’t even believe we are friends, yet, we still stay friends. Having that one best friend that sticks with you for a long period of time is like your favorite pair of shoes that miraculously still fits after years of wearing them, even if they are a little stretched out. The dangerous thing about having a best friend that you are very close to is that sometimes fights are not always resolved like fights with family are. I have only had a few best friends in my life. Some of them, still hold the title of “best friend” while others just drifted away.

Groups of friends are an entirely different story. I have had a group of friends where the group splits and others where friends are lost. Large groups of friends can be dangerous. There can even be smaller groups within the groups, which just leads to more conflict because some are closer than others. Groups can lose a member or gain new ones. When I was younger and more clueless about friendship, I joined a large group that really did not fit my personality. I felt uncomfortable around the people in the group and I felt like I had to try so hard to fit in. I eventually faded away realizing that I have to find friends that I can be happy with. Another time that I was in a large friend group, there was a clear divide between several of us. Half of us agreed with each other while the other half disagreed on many issues. This caused many disputes and stress between the two halves. Having too many shoes can also be a problem. Some shoes may never be worn while others are worn all the time.

As time passes and people experience new places and meet new people, friendships are bound to change. After learning from many friendships that I have had, I think I am at a good place with my friends right now. I have learned the best way to keep a best friend for a long period of time. I now know that small groups of friends work better for me than a large one. For the time being, I think that my friendships will last longer than any of my other friendships I have had. Who my friends are might start to change as a result of some major changes in all of our lives: high school. Friendships grow, change, and develop as a person does simultaneously. When you are young, your feet tend to grow quickly, creating a need for new shoes. As you get older, you get to the point where you stop growing and settle into your favorite comfort shoes that will last a lifetime.