Dear 8th Grade Self,

I know. You’re a young kid dying to get out of middle school to get up to the high school. I’m you in 11th grade and I’m telling you right now that you may want to stay in middle school as long as possible. High school has sucked for me.

Sure, all the movies show it as being one big drama fest and then getting to live happily ever after, but it’s not. You’re going to go through some rough times ahead and I want you to know that I’m sorry that you have to. You’re going to lose some people who are close to you and you need to know now Allie is your one hope and she won’t be there at that very moment so I’m telling you right now to start writing journals. Do not wait until after the fact to start, because you need to know how you feel before all the stuff happens instead of only afterward.

The one thing I’ll tell you right now that you’ll need is that you will meet so many different people who will love you and care about you that it won’t be as big a deal who you lose. High school for you is going to be like this: wake up, get dressed, get to school, talk to people who pretend to be your friends, go through each class (sleep in a few), go home, do homework or go to work, play sports until you quit, and be called a failure by everyone, everyday until you start believing more in yourself than your family and friends do.

Yeah, life is going to get really rough these next few years. But one thing I know now is that you’re going to be so much happier now than when you had all the crappy, fake people in your life. Take it from an older version of you you won’t believe what happens coming up in your life. Just be ready for some big changes and big pains in your ass.

Yes, you will get bullied. In fact, right now the one of me is saying I sold drugs and am addicted to cocaine, so you’ll have to learn to deal with it. People aren’t going to be completely honest with you in fact your “best friend” is going to be hiding the fact that she and your brother have something going on between them and are going to try and hide it from you. You find out anyway. The thing about other people is that they will try and undermine you. Believe me honey if you weren’t me, I’d feel sorry for you. But you are me and so I know you are strong. Don’t be afraid to break, don’t be afraid of anyone else, and most importantly, stay true to who you are. Because life only comes once and letting a friend or a guy take advantage of you is not okay.

These next months are going to be the hardest of your whole entire life. Just as you’re finding out who you are, you’re going to lose one of the people who helped you to be who you are now. You’re still an innocent kid from St. John’s! Sure, you might hangout with other kids who aren’t like you but that’s the main thing, they aren’t like you. Nobody is like you. You’re going to get along with people from so many different groups of people that you’re going to have a really great friend from Denmark! But you’re going to lose Allie a little bit. Believe me, this year I’m trying to get her back for you, because you’re going to need her. You will have made some new friends and some new best friends. Kalley is my best friend and at this point I could NEVER live a life without her in it! She makes everything easier to deal with and they make everything a lot more fun.

You and your brother are going to get closer this summer. He is going to be the one person you want to talk to at some points because he is the only person that you can talk about the whole rollout to because you won’t have people at that point. So do yourself a favor and stop pushing him away. Right now he lives in Maine and I still talk to him everyday. In fact you’re going to move for him, so get ready.

As for mom, there’s not much I can say. We fight every single day, no matter what it’s about. Yes she’s still working her ass off all the time and soon you will be too. But no matter what, she’s still your mom. Be good to her. And I don’t know enough about dad since the fallout so I can’t exactly help you out with that one. Just pull out the b****y side of your two-face and use it against him.

Now I know you were probably expecting more of classes, the ins and outs of being in high school, but that’s not what I’m telling you. People are going to tell you everyday to get your stuff done, and you won’t do it. People are going to tell you that you’ll use the stuff they teach you for the rest of your life, it’s bullshit unless you want to go through with that subject for a career. Yeah, it helps. No kid listens anyway. What I’m telling you right now is stuff you will use for the rest of your life. No matter how bad it gets, it can mean something to you.

“So keep your head high, your chin up, and keep on smiling. Because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” ~Marilyn Monroe

Truly yours,
Your 11th Grade Self