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why i can`t find joy in college?
college is...
1. causing a lot of stress
it`s becoming a major stress, to think that i`m only 17 to experience this kind of things. i just can`t absorb and feed my brain with loads of information like a working computer. heck, i can`t even act or be one.
i go home everyday after school -- tired, and drained, and wasted, and looking almost as if i`m dead. then there`s those sleepness nights that you have to deal with, to study a WHOLE chapter and memorize several terms and theories just so you could pass the quiz next day. and the worse part is... taking ONLY a 15-item applicational quiz when you`ve put so many things on your head.
plus, there is no SAT UR DAY. there`s no time to lie down, for chillaxin` moments... there`s actually no weekends!
2. torture
why can`t they make college a little more lighter and teenager-friendly? and those "minor" subjects are killing me, to think that they`re only minor and yet they`re causing more burden than our major subjects. i mean, why take minor subjects that`s not even related to your course? how would you apply playing darts in accouting? what`s the essence of learning humanities to be able to become a certified public accountant?
exhibit A -- our professor in P.E., i don`t know his name but he looks like Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. we`re taking darts and shooting in P.E., and i don`t even know how to play darts and shooting. once you fail the individual practicum in darts for this mid term, you`ll get the lowest grade of 5.
exhibit B -- sharpay, a codename we`ve given to him. he talks so fast that we couldn`t keep up. first meeting is discussion, second meeting`s another quiz -- that`s almost his cycle in teaching. and he`s even planning for make-up classes just so we could finish half the contents of our book this mid term.
exhibit C -- our good-looking philo teacher. he decided to give out an oral exam, more like defending your thesis proposal. i have such bad experience last high school when we started doing research proposals that we have to deal with for two years -- third to fourth year high school. if your thesis didn`t get approved, you can`t graduate. it`s pure torture.
3. pressure
i`m in first class, section A, where teachers are expecting a high performance or more class participation from each one of us. every morning, i enter our room to see my fellow classmates busy with our books, with their calculators... there`s no time to say "hi! good morning!" or "psst! i got some rumors to tell you." i sometimes feel like i`m a lost student, that i shouldn`t be on that class. now i`m forcing myself to study harder because i don`t wanna gain the lowest rank.
sighs.
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