Technology and social media have grown exponentially in recent years. With just one tap on our phone or click on our laptop, we can communicate to millions of people across the globe through different media platforms. Communicating with others is easier now than ever before, but what does that mean for society? When you look at a Starbucks line, an airport waiting area, or a lecture hall before class starts, I guarantee that a majority of people are gazing at their phones, isolated from everything and everyone around them.

Our phones are such vital and daily part of our lives that we forget how to be real people without them. We rely on them to alleviate awkward situations, act as our friends in times of loneliness, and pass the time. We use them as an outlet for our thoughts and emotions, posting photos and updates to our profiles to show our friends and family what we are up to, almost as if we were sharing the information in person. Social media allows us to pick and choose what parts of our lives we wish to display. This allows us to share only the positive aspects of our lives, rather than expose the negative events and feelings, almost as if we are creating the perfect life for ourselves.

It is Christmas break. I am sitting on my couch editing a photo of my older brother, older sister, and me sitting in front of our Christmas tree in our brand new dreamhouse. We have just attended the evening church service. Piles of intricately wrapped presents and cute Christmas decorations engulf us. We are smiling. I click my Instagram app and caption the photo with a catchy phrase to capture my followers’ attention: “Just a couple of hooligans in front of a Christmas tree.”

What the picture does not feature, however, is the hardship that my brother inflicted upon our family the eight years prior. It doesn’t show me hearing my dad scream, “Sierra, call 911!” from the downstairs kitchen as my brother attacks him. It does not show the blood stains and holes in the walls. It does not show us selling our childhood home because we cannot relive the memories anymore. It does not show him homeless on the streets of Seattle. It does not show his alcoholism, his methamphetamine addiction, or his schizophrenia. It does not show him on psychedelic mushrooms jumping off a roof, attempting to take his life at Western Washington University. It does not show the only time I’ve heard my father cry as he prays over Christmas dinner. Social media is flooded with posts that conceal serious portions of people’s lives and pretend everything’s flawless.

Sitting on my couch posting this photo, I am fully aware that the only people who know the truth of my situation are my immediate family. Yet I post it anyway. I lie to my friends. Why though? I do not consider myself a liar by any means, but when it comes to social media, that is my entire existence. I rely on the acceptance and approval of others over my feelings and my sense of wholeness. If I explain the reality of the situation, I am judged; I am ignored by my friends; I am made fun of for having a “messed-up” family. So I proceed. I lie to my friends; I conceal the truth.

Social media allows an altered perception of reality. All of us users know the true reality of each situation we choose to share, yet we manipulate how we want others to perceive our reality. We distort the truth of our situations to appeal to broader audiences in order to make our friends and family happy and create a “perfect” public image for ourselves. We alter the general perception of our own lives, even though we individually know the full truth.

This concept is like a masquerade ball; we show up in our prettiest attire, accessories, and of course, our extravagant mask. This allows others to view us as something we are not, something far more attractive and sophisticated than reality. We come together to catch up with one another and tell each other what is going on in our lives, but only reveal the positive aspects. All of life’s troubles are pushed aside and ignored for the night’s duration. We create fake perceptions of ourselves while still fully aware of our own reality, hidden beneath our costume.

Why is this a problem? Why does it matter how people view us versus how we view ourselves? The answer is in our subconscious. Since everyone is portraying their “perfect” life on social media, we subconsciously compare ourselves and our own happiness to what our friends, our family, and famous celebrities share on social media. When we see the perfect life of someone else, we wonder why ours isn’t the same. Yet when someone else sees our own, they wonder the same about their life. It is an ongoing cycle of never being as happy, pretty, or perfect as the next person by comparing our “worsts” to other’s “bests.” We chase the ideals of a perfect life and forget that everyone else is suffering as well.

In the social media masquerade, we admire others’ facades and achievements then automatically reflect upon our own lives and wonder why they are not as good as others’. At the end of the night, we turn off our devices, remove our masks, and strip our costumes, revealing our complete identity only to ourselves.

While social media presents these insecurities, it is true that social media does have some benefits. Several people use social media as a means to connect with family members and close friends on the other side of the world, proving to be positively effective. In this aspect, social media is not completely toxic to every user. The issue becomes apparent when it consumes our minds, actions, and lives. When we force social media into our daily routine, it allows us to constantly compare ourselves to others. While social media rooted as a means to connect with friends and family, it has quite frankly turned to the opposite. Instead of fully connecting with one another, we conceal our truths and recreate our identities. We hide behind a screen and hope for the best. We seek approval from others, while others do the same from us. We are living in a digital masquerade ball, one that only becomes more popular and self-destructive with time.