I have always been an avid supporter of Facebook, but this summer I realized there are some major downsides to this social network.
My friends told me stories about this wonderful place called “Facebook” for months before I even created my own page on the site. The sound of the instant messaging system intrigued me and the way a user could post pictures of themselves sounded interesting. From what they told me, I painted a picture in my head of the most incredible website ever. So obviously when I was finally allowed to open my own page last year on my birthday, I was ecstatic. Little did I know, that was the beginning of a completely new chapter in my life. I am not sure exactly what it is, but there is something exciting about being able to look through other people’s pictures and statuses. So exciting, that I have used the website consistently almost every day for last year.
One of the highlights of Facebook is that I can stay in touch with friends that I do not have the chance to see very often. This list of people includes some of my very best friends from my sleep away summer camp in Virginia. Before my life was graced with Facebook’s presence, distance prevented us from speaking a single word to each other for almost twelve months. This year with the help of this glorious website, we were given the opportunity to reconnect through instant messages, wall posts and video chats, bringing us even closer than before.
But this summer, I fully realized that Facebook has its downsides. Just prior to leaving for camp, I had one of my first relationships. I was excited, and I wanted to share this with my “ friends.” By changing my relationship status to “in a relationship,” and posting pictures of us together on my Facebook page, I did just that. Both of these would appear in all of my 600 friends news feed, no matter how well or little I knew them. At the time, I saw no problem with this. I wanted those hundreds of people to see that Ella Harvey was no longer the awkward middle school girl, but a strong, attractive no longer available woman. But when we broke up, these actions would come back to haunt me.
Unfortunately, this relationship did not last long. Soon after returning from camp, I realized that my boyfriend had changed his relationship status back to single. This demon of a website, made an already horrible situation so much worse. The sentence “Ella Harvey went from in a relationship to single” plagued all my friend’s news feeds. The “heys” and “what’s ups” in my inbox, were quickly replaced with questions about the end of my relationship from people that I hardly knew. I felt as if the entire world knew about one of my lowest moments. It seems like an exaggeration, but to me those 600 people were the world, and thanks to Facebook, they all were informed about the tragedy that was now my life. All of the sudden, my best friend Facebook, became my worst enemy.
Although Facebook has allowed me to connect with friends who I am not able to see often, I have painfully realized that it is not the place to share my most private moments. There are times in my life that I should only share with my closest friends, face to face. The definition of a “friend” on Facebook is completely different from a friend in the outside world. In the future, my 600 contains people with whom I will not share the beginnings and ends of relationships or any other private situation that might embarrass me in front of mere acquaintances. I am glad I had this revelation so early in my life, no matter how painful it was. Rest assured, my next breakup and other similarly private matters will be handled offline.