Teenager.

When I was a kid, I remember desperately wanting to achieve this status. I would act more mature, try to go to malls with my friends, and care more about my appearance. In short, I tried to be a teen, or at least what a child believes a real teenager is.

If I could go back in time, I would slap myself so hard, my head would spin.

After all, the years spent going through puberty can be some of the most confusing, if not infuriating years of your life. I’m sure those who have ridden, or who are riding, the dizzying emotional roller coaster of adolescence would agree whole-heartedly. There are times when you might feel depressed, but just can’t explain why. You might find yourself in a love/hate relationship with someone you simply want to be friends with. But one thing is for certain. Your emotions will become much more prominent and demanding than they were before.



At first, it might seem like just a little twinge, a tiny voice in the back of your head, whose squeaks you can all-too-easily ignore. But eventually, it grows, rips away any rational thoughts, and begins to influence your every choice.

Over the years I’ve spent in adolescence, I’ve observed the ongoing teenage drama that so often plagues my everyday life and have begun to understand the teenage mind. Friends have asked for my advice for numerous teen-related problems, and each time, I am forced to dig a little deeper into their emotional mess.

Thus, after years of coping with my own emotions, and giving out bits of assistance to my close friends and family, I have finally found a solution to controlling the ever-raging emotions inside all of us adolescents.

Depression

A couple of years ago, when I was just on the verge of adolescence, I was nearly consumed by a crippling depression. Many of my closest friends had just moved out of Shekou International School, and most had gone to live over-seas, where time difference would affect how often, if at all, we could ever even meet online. I felt completely alone.

While many of you might not have had that specific experience, there has been a point in every teenager’s life when they’ve felt as though their situation is beyond repair. And while some might not originally realize that they are sinking into depression, there are many symptoms that, if recognized, would alert them to the ‘disease’ they suffer.

The individual might intentionally seclude themselves from the world, and adopt a quiet, morose demeanor. Typically, they will find it harder to concentrate in class, begin thinking darker thoughts about themselves. Hobbies and interests that initially seemed fun, will begin to lose appeal. In more serious cases, the person might contemplate self-harm, or even suicide.

Whatever the problem, or the symptoms might be, there are numerous solutions.

Begin by deciphering the specific reason for your depression. Don’t settle with: “I’m depressed because I’m stupid.” Go for something like: “I’m depressed because I’m not doing very well in math.” Do not label yourself with demeaning phrases, as this is counterproductive.

Begin by picturing a successful future for yourself. Whether it be relationship-wise, school-wise, or related to any other aspect of your life, plan something to look forward to. After this makes you slightly calmer, begin to plan out a solution to your depression. Talk to someone close to you, and get their advice. Are you over-exaggerating the problem? Think about it from another perspective.

And finally, realize that it’s simply not acceptable to be depressed all the time. There is plenty in life worth living for.


Anger

Ah, the red-hot emotion.

Anger always seems to be the most dangerous of emotions. It can cause you to lash out at those closest to you, and endanger your personal relationships. Unfortunately, it is also one of the more frequent emotions in a teenager’s life.

From my many years spent around them, I have realized that when most teens are angry, they tend to want as much attention as possible. They will lash out at unexpected times, and ignore whatever hurtful words might come out of their mouths. Or they might completely seclude themselves, turning their backs on everything. Either way, it’s bad.

You might have realized that this section is noticeably shorter than the previous section. That is due to the fact that anger and jealousy are much more straightforward than sadness, with more of a set solution.

Begin by removing yourself from the situation that is making you angry. Chances are, you’re too upset to even begin thinking rationally about what your reasons are for being upset. Give yourself a few minutes alone, and think of something relaxing, something that makes you happy. Don’t address the problem until you feel your body relax.

Return to your situation, and ask yourself: “Why am I angry?” Typically, many people don’t actually know why they’re mad, and let themselves be controlled by a meaningless situation. Imagine your outburst from a different point of view. Does it seem petty?

Don’t be afraid to apologize. Often, relationships are broken by anger, though through pride and unwillingness to back down rather than because of any outburst. Admit that you did something wrong. However, if you believe that your anger was rightfully justified, talk to the person. Don’t let the anger consume you.

And finally, know what objects or events or people trigger anger in you. What bothers you? Begin to take steps to avoid these situations, and plan out an appropriate reaction. Train your mind to take in these things with acceptance.


Unrequited Crushes

Let’s start by defining an unrequited crush.

An unrequited crush, is when you have a crush on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

It can be confusing and hurtful for both sides. And unfortunately, in tends to happen quite a bit during adolescent years, as the body is beginning its cycle of puberty.

Let’s start with “you having a crush on someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings”.

Begin by accepting your feelings. Yes, this might sound cheesy, but it actually does seem to help. Admit that you have a crush, and admit that it is doing you no good. Find others who know what you’re going through, and accept their advice. Find out how they moved on.

Start to acknowledge defeat. Things will only get worse if you continue to chase after that person, and things will become unbearable if you try to convince them to ‘like’ you. Skip the denial stage head on.

Whatever you do, do not confuse this with a personal failure. The fact that you were rejected by ONE person has nothing to do with your self-worth or desirability. Some things are simply beyond your control.

Next, try to distance yourself from your crush. While it will seem impossible, and will hurt for a period of time, it will slowly help you heal.

Finally, take care of yourself. Use this crucial time to re-evaluate the ways of your own life, instead of devoting all of your time to your crush. Do this, and you will find yourself a much happier person than before all the drama.

So... Did it Work?

If you found that this article did not help you, I would suggest doing your own research. After all, being a teenager myself, I can only list so many solutions. I also have never claimed to have a degree in psychology or any other discipline that in any way certifies my opinions presented in this essay.

Credibility aside, I hope that you did enjoy reading this article, and that it has influenced your life in some manner, or perhaps even helped you sit through the twisty roller coaster of adolescence.