Strong. Agile. Courageous. Aggressive. When we think of words like these, we picture one particular gender. I bet that even if I do not mention which gender I’m referring to throughout the whole essay, everyone will know that I’m talking about those who mark the box with an “M” when asked for their gender on application forms. “Be a man, you shouldn’t cry!” “Be a man, you should be determined!” “Be a man, you should like sports!” All these “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” are expected to be followed by all of those with a checkmark beside the “M” box; from little boys to old grandfathers, society demands “men” to be able to suppress emotions, to conquer fears, and to enjoy physical activities.

I haven’t heard the phrase “Be a man!” personally since I mark the box beside the “F” instead of the “M”. However, I constantly hear about situations in which those who are expected to be manly are given the tirades of the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”. One of the instances I remember the most is the derision my friend experienced for crying while watching a sad movie. All the girls who were watching the movie, including myself, were crying. “It’s sad, isn’t it?” and “Do you want a tissue?” were the only questions we were asked for the tears that were seen in our eyes. But when the boy’s eyes were full of tears, the comments he heard were: “Are you a girl? Maybe you should start wearing skirts and dresses.” “OMG, are you crying? Men don’t cry!” “Be a man! Stop crying!” Why are females allowed to cry while men are expected to hold back their tears? Why is there a Korean adage that states that men should only cry three times in their lifetime while women are “allowed” to cry whenever they want? The reason we picture a woman more than a man when we think of the word “crying” is society prohibits men from being able to express their emotions. They are expected to be tough and to be able to suppress their feelings, especially sadness.

In addition to real life instances, there are various examples in literature that convey the fact that men have a “what it takes to be a man” list that they “should” follow. In Macbeth, a five-act play by the acclaimed playwright William Shakespeare, there are several times were the main character is given the “Be a man!” type of comments. “When you durst do it, then you were a man; and to be more than what you were; you would be so much more the man,”  is what Lady Macbeth says when Macbeth claims that he thinks that he should not kill King Duncan. Instead of comforting him and giving him a pat on the back, Lady Macbeth manipulates him to commit the murder by stating that a real man would conquer his fears and do whatever it takes to get what he wants. Would it have been the same if Lady Macbeth was the one who was supposed to kill her rival to steal the position? Would Macbeth had told her “Be a woman! You are making yourself less lady-like by not being able to commit the murder!”? No. Like Macbeth, men often perform actions even though their hearts tell them not to do so because society tells them that in order to be a man, they should be determined, courageous, and aggressive.

“Manhood”, a short story written by John Wain, also illustrates another rule that society has set for men. This story is about a man who persists on making his son an athletic and strong male. The reason he does so is because he believes that all men need to appreciate physical activities and be good at them: “There is a law. The unchangeable law of nature that says that young males of the species enjoy taking part in manly trials of strength,”. Mr. Willison, the father, does not care if his son is exhausted. He does not care what his wife thinks. He does not care to ask what his son really wants to do. He only cares about the “unchangeable law of nature”. And Mr. Willison is not just a fictional character. There are numerous Mr. Willisons in our world that also believe that men should be the sportive ones. However, this is definitely not the truth. Gender shouldn’t matter; men can like playing the piano, drawing, and knitting rather than playing sports while women can like playing soccer more than cooking.

Why is it that traits, activities, and even objects, are categorized as either for men or for women? “Blue is for males while pink is for females.” But my father wears his pink polo shirt often and my mom has more blue shirts than him. “Art is girly while science is manly.” But I know a man who majored in fashion and a woman who loves explosives. The world is starting to erase the line in between the concepts that were considered manly and the others that were linked with females. However, the line has not completely vanished; we should eradicate this differentiation between the genders. Every single human being should be given the opportunity to be who they are, like what they want, and do what they desire without being told that it is not “manly enough” or “lady-like”.