If I could have everything I wanted in the future it would be able to have a husband and as many kids God will give me that I could happily support and be able to give them everything they want. I want to live in a house filled with color and life, down the street from the beach in some warm place, and a big fenced in yard that my dogs will be able to run around in. 

But I still have a long way until I can get there. Almost three years of high school, and 4 years of college. 

High school is something that feels like it is so far away, almost like I am not living it right now. Watching all of those Disney Channel and Nickelodeon shows made high school look so new and terrifying. It looked so different from what it actually is. High school is not what I was expecting, all my teachers all my life told me how scary and difficult it would be and I know it will get harder but right now it is a lot easier and different from what I expected. I was told all my friends would go away and all this drama would happen. But for me I have had a really good experience. And I am scared that this good start will end badly. But that for me to find out in the next three years, I guess.   

College is a thing I thought I had all planned out from the start. I would go to Grand Valley to be a teacher, I thought that's what I wanted. But after seeing all these places around the country I realized there is a lot more to life than just staying in Michigan for me. There were actual places that I could live like what I have hoped for everyday, meet all new people and have a dream life. I could go to college in Hawaii or Florida and go there for the beaches and to be a middle or high school teacher. And I know it's not all that glamorous but is that even what I want? Do I want to spend my life in school when I dread school work everyday? Would I enjoy being a nurse or a doctor, or anything else?  

The scariest part about the future is the unknown. My life will be very different then, than it is now. I will be old, and I know that sounds crazy because I will be young but it is so far away. Responsibilities will hit me and I will have no clue what to do, everything will be different, living away from home, not being close to any childhood friends, and an entirely new chapter of life. But isn’t that part of growing up? Is it normal to be this excited and scared all at once?  

The future is a thought that often consumes my head. I know I should have trust in God and that where he takes me is where I should be, but the thought of not knowing is what scares me, knowing that I may not live the life I have always dreamed of. Or what is ahead of me.

How far will I go? Will I be able to live my dream of living on the beach in retirement with my kids and grandchildren around me? Or will I be forever stuck only living my early years of life? What is God’s plan for me?