I wonder if God can hear me when I complain. Does it annoy him that I'm too human to ever be anything better? I want to make him proud but how can I when I fall short of my own expectations. I can feel him sometimes and it brings peace to my chaotic heart. I search for a way out of this realm of who I should be and who I'm expected to be. God must hear my lame get rich quick schemes so I won't have to depend on anyone. Does he hear my struggle of me being my only true need. Am I a fool for trying so hard to escape my parents cage? Should I feel angry and sick for still having to depend on them after sixteen years?
Should God pay any attention to me at all? Am I worth his precious moments or precious thoughts? I need to be free. I need to be wreckless. I need to taste life and be able to savor it. I'm not going to stay in one place. I shall be like the wind, blowing from one place to the next. Letting everything I love be swept away. So help me God I can't and won't be bound by anything.