I heard the door squeak open and
I ran to see my Mom
She held a box within her hands
But I didn't know where it was from.
I threw the lid onto the ground
And right before my eyes
Was a pair of bright red cowgirl boots
Which wasn't a surprise.
My house rested in the arms of the earth
Two hills on either side
The cows and goats and chickens
They were not what I would ride
The four legged creature
The color of burnt wood
Hair flowing in the whispering breeze
Just like mine could
My legs stuck to his body
As I sat on his bare coat
The heels of my bare feet digging in
As his hooves wrote
Notes in the dirt
Love notes it seemed
They spoke of my hopes
They spoke of my dreams
He stomped on my worries
And chewed on my fears
He made the weight on my shoulders
Magically disappear.
I gazed at the yellow thread
In the intricate design
The soft material against my fingers
Is a feeling that you couldn't find
Feeling a high heel
Or feeling a sneaker
A cowgirl is stronger
A model is weaker
Instead of wearing skirts
I wore britches
Instead of band-aids on little scrapes
My falls would give me stitches
I was proud of what marks my free spirited
Stallion would cause
It shows that I'm strong enough
That I am the boss
When I put on those boots
I felt so much older
I felt like the queen
I felt as strong as a boulder
I ran out to the pasture
To see my best friend in the world
To see how he'd transition
To a woman from a girl
It would hurt more
When my heels dug in
He'd finally listen
To everything I said
But when I reached the pasture
The rain stained wood
I saw the noble steed
Who I thought could
Conquer the world
In one single stride
Who could stand up to an enemy
Of absolutely any size
Was merely a pony
Of only twelve hands
Who wasn't my little boy
He was an intimidating man
His nostrils were flared
And his eyes opened wide
His throat was probably sore
From not swallowing his pride.
He kicked out at me
And I flew back a distance
He was bucking and running
And I was his only witness.
I felt the wind against my toes,
And saw my feet were bare
My boots were not to be found
I didn't see them anywhere
But then I saw color
Peeking through the grass
I thought about reaching for them
But that thought did not last
Because the stranger he ran
He ran over my precious shoes
I gasped in surprise
Because I saw I had to choose
Run away without my boots?
Admit defeat and walk away?
Or try to get my brand new shoes
To not leave..but to stay.
But this time was different
Because it seemed
He had stomped on my hopes
And chewed on my dreams.
I walked out of the pasture
And looked back at the beast
I didn't know this monster
To say the absolute least.
I left without my boots that day
I left as a little girl
I wasn't ready for so much at once
I wasn't ready for the world.