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What I heard When You Spoke
"Worthless,"
What a fickle little word,
so many connotations,
but the only one I heard,
was the one to describe a person.
I never expected to hear it.
I never though of it myself,
never stood in front a mirror,
my eyes mirroring wells,
and wispered "worthless,"
until it was put there by someone else.
Until someone I trusted,
thrusted that worthless word upon my self image,
and with that gave me permission,
to describe myself with it.
It hurt for some time,
and it simmered in my mind.
It only hurt when you said it,
and you said it all the time.
I will never understand,
exactly what you though would happen.
Because "worthless" is a weapon,
it's the worst I ever heard.
You didn't let your children play with knives,
so why on earth give us words.
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This is a poem about my father. We all have issues with our parents, and I don't resent them for it, but I am still healing from my childhood. My siblings and I used to spend every Sunday with my dad, and no matter what project we worked on around the house, we were always confused. The problem was that he never accepted it when we didn't understand, and not understanding, to him, meant stupid and stupid meant worthless.
I am still trying to convince myself that I'm not.