I've decided that today i will no longer wait to die my little deaths

and each time i see mom's hands

I won't compare them to my own

I will not copy homework.

I will not bite my nails.

I will not stare at the little circle of moles on my left shoulder.

I will not chew mints.

I will not daydream up fantasy worlds in French where we all live under tiger skin skies.

and everytime we find ourselves

In a conundrum

darling, I suggest you grab me tight and

I'll study the split ends of your hair

and we'll wait for it to pass.

I'll break my habit

put down the cigarettes

If you'll allow me to smoke you instead -