As we lie in this meadow
made up of dried weeds and dirt
we rest together upon a scratchy blanket
to watch the tired sun set over the black water.
And as I lie in your arms
on this cold summer night
when nothing feels right
I'll still pretend to be in awe of the sun's brilliant setting,
even though it's the darkest I've ever seen the sun shine.
But I will still sit here, smiling,
and I will even kiss you back when you lean in,
even though your lips taste so bitter.
And your hands around my waist will remain there,
even though your gentle touch pains me.
And I'll even pretend this will be a good memory,
even though, when I look back to this night
later in life,
I'll feel disgusted with myself.
Because on this cold summer night
when nothing seemed right,
I found myself going back to the person I used to be,
just pleasing and pretending.