All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
how to survive the mist
Materials
A car
One to three machetes
An ocean of gasoline
One mop
Three mounds of food
5 crates of dog food
Duct tape
A sprinkle of skeptics
One screaming man
Rope
An acre of mist
A lifetime of interdimensional creatures
Directions
Drive from your home to your local walmart or fleet farm
Wait for a screaming man to run into the building babbling about something in the mist
Let the skeptics doubt the screaming man
Go into the garage to turn on backup power for building(you will see a tentacle crawl under the door but this is what the machete is for)
Emerge from garage and tell everyone what you saw(the skeptics will doubt you)
The skeptics will want to leave so tie a rope around their waist and release them into the mist
You will feel the rope go tight then limp, once it goes limp pull the rope and see the skeptics are gone(the rope will be covered in blood)
Start stacking dog food in front of glass(but leave a hole large enough for the interdimensional creature)
Once the creature gets in take the mop and bucket of gasoline and set it on fire
Hunker down in the store until you can no longer bear it and go insane
Finally run out to your car from earlier and sit inside and drive around until your out of gas
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.