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i'm not the jew you had in mind
March 27, 2024
i’m not the jew you had in mind
my hair is short, my hymns are dried
my mother tongue is coarse at best
my prayer book’s been put to rest
i’m not the jew they had in mind
my trust in god is lame and blind
i’ll pray and sing and sway and read
but i’m not the jew i thought i’d be
my skirts are short, my hair is free
יש אבק על המזוזה שלי
so i’m not "as jewish" as i could've been
but my nose and my curls spin a different scene
'cause i’m proof of a story that kept being told
so i know that for certain that once i grow old
i will not lose sleep over what you may find
because i’m not the jew that you had in mind
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I am Ashkenazi Jewish, and have been involved in the Jewish community my whole life. I celebrate Shabbat, I go to synagogue every week, I had a Bat Mitzvah, and I went to a Jewish day school. However, I am also queer and agnostic, and that leads to a lot of imposter syndrome related to my Jewishness. Recognizing my heritage and history has been monumental in accepting the different parts of myself.
(Note to editor: the Hebrew in the poem is transliterated to "yesh evek al hamezuzah sheli" and means "there's dust on my mezuzah". If it could be added as a footnote, that would be much appreciated!)