I pray it not be so, but darkness has devoured me. It has laid its persistent seed in my dreaming head and left my mind to be the sallow mother of its growth. While I have strived, body and soul, to keep this depressive leech at bay within my own self I find now it seeps from out my fingertips, spews rage and ignorance from out my mouth and leaves me sulking in the shadows of my forgotten sunlight, imperfect and alone.

Whilst I sit in my shadowed corner of this ill-begotten world I claim that I am too high to fall towards the gaping trench that is depression, but I find more and more now I can not fake my climb up but must instead jump down from off my gleaming pedestal and remind myself, and not others, that I am but only the worthless street trash found at the bottom of my barrel and seem of nothing more.

I may try once more to lift my depraved soul up from within my own tangled web, but, once more I will return in the failure of past disgraces and future disappointments to find a tree of mangles roots and rotten branches has burst forth from my mothered seed and found shelter amongst my wilted body and faulted heart.

Too many times have I fought this battle of will. No more times will I lose to its endless darkness and my self-proclaimed fears. So I have mothered the seed of my own destruction, let it flourish and claim beautiful flowers to its branches for I am tired of fighting magnolias. Let their white petals climb into the soul of my being and consume, for I am tired of pruning. Let me retain all that comes forth from darkness, for the light it has swallowed may now longer give me peace.