The Earth's Display | Teen Ink

The Earth's Display

November 7, 2010
By PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me


I trudged to the peak of the snowy hill.
The cold bit me turning me ill.
The mountain was like Swiss cheese,
with bites from the boots of the travelers' ease.

I trudged and trudged up that snowy hill,
the reason being, the view was beyond real.
I was cold and tired from the climb so far,
so I took a breath and looked back down.

The peak was nine-tenths closer now.
I decided to go up,
not down.
For the route to take was shorter.

The wind would swipe the travelers' praise,
but not the view the Earth displayed.
I slowed, thanks to the climate there,
Rubbed my eyes of the snowflakes so rare.

I heaved myself to the rail at the peak.
My jaw dropped, it was definitely worth a peek.
I don't allow to be fooled,
so I pinched myself hard.

I wasn't sure if it was true.
How could the snow be so perfect,
the rivers so smooth,
the roofs gleaming?

The trees seemed to be bathing,
the white shampoo slowly leaving the green hair.
But the travelers around me sighed in dismay.
They were late, they believed, for the Earth's great display.

Spring was coming, the transitions being seen.
The melting and heat had come this day.
They didn't see what I saw, the beauty of the trip,
the vigorous climb to see this art paid off.

Nature has paint, with each stroke precise
The Earth's display is a changing art.
The transitions, the perfection, the wrong , and the right,
Make up the beauty... of this dawn so bright.

The author's comments:
In this piece, I hope to create feeling. I have written this poem for everyone to interpret however they'd like, especially since there is quite a bit of symbolism and imagery that can come from reading this. I know many people including me, that like to relate works I've read to my life.

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This article has 12 comments.


on Jan. 29 2011 at 9:01 pm
Timekeeper DIAMOND, Cary, North Carolina
62 articles 0 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk'?, and I say 'No that's trendy'!"- Billie Joe Armstrong, Green Day

This was deep and really well written. I coulds see it being used as a spoken word piece at a fundraiser to rally against climate change or something of the like!

on Jan. 24 2011 at 9:06 am
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends

This is beautiful! I loved the description and the story this poem told. Awesome job :)

on Jan. 16 2011 at 7:35 pm
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me

Okay thanks! 

on Jan. 16 2011 at 7:34 pm
Olive_Eyes GOLD, Granite Falls, Washington
18 articles 10 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My life has been one big joke, a dance that's walked, a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself" Maya Angelou

I did notice that the rythm kept going. My poetry doesn't tend to rhyme at all, so yeah. Don't know where I was going with this comment. Keep writing!

on Jan. 16 2011 at 5:27 pm
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me

Thanks. Yeah I thought the beat was still kinda there even though it didn't rhyme, but I'll try to keep it rhyming :)

 


on Jan. 16 2011 at 2:00 pm
Olive_Eyes GOLD, Granite Falls, Washington
18 articles 10 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"My life has been one big joke, a dance that's walked, a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself" Maya Angelou

Heyy (: Hanmo1 is right, you should try to be consistent.

But honestly, I liked it better without the rhyming.

good stuff (:


on Jan. 15 2011 at 8:32 pm
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me

Thanks so much! That was a really nice comliment! :)

 

(I don't know what happened to the previous one - the AuthorOfPoem one. I wasn't logged in or something)


on Jan. 15 2011 at 8:31 pm
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me

Ok. Thanks. :)

Hanmo1 said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 7:34 pm
Hanmo1, Singapore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments
Great poem, but I noticed the verses stopped rhyming after the second stanza. It would be good if you can keep it consistent throughout. Keep going!

AuthorOfPoem said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 4:46 pm
Thanks so much! That was a really nice compliment. :)

on Jan. 15 2011 at 3:35 pm
thedegraded SILVER, Medford, New York
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

I really like how this poem has rhythm to it, even if it is free verse. It's lovely. The imagery you created was amazingly vivid and I really enjoyed that. It kind of reminded me of a ski trip I took a while back and it was lovely, really. I think the best thing a writer can do is weite something that their reader can relate to, and you did just that. Congrats! I really love the poem and I honestly can't find a single flaw. Lovely job!

cheers!

 


on Jan. 15 2011 at 1:08 pm
PentoPaper GOLD, S, California
10 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Asking questions is the key in life, so don't be afraid" - Me

Hey everyone! Please read my work. Especially this one. I took time writing it, and I would love it if you spared a few seconds reading it.

:)