Ladies and gents!
Come now, gather in,
I’ve got something you’ll never believe!

It’s magical, miraculous,
Vital and virtuous,
A need you simply cannot conceive!

What I have here
Is something that will
Put your cheap imitations to shame.

Can’t stand the suspense?
Then, let me be brief,
I sell friendship, that’s the reason I came.

I can see by your face,
Confused by my plug,
That its use is not apparent to you.

Why, just give me a bit
And I’ll have you convinced,
Believe me, there’s not a thing it can’t do!

It’s a great pick-me-up
When all thoughts are tinged
With pallid and dismal hues.

It’s a great keep-me-going
When all thoughts are sunny,
When riotous laughter ensues!

On friendship’s lips
The truth never sleeps
Or settles for sheepish withdrawal.

You will know if you’ve shied
From the path straight and narrow
Or simply committed a fashion faux pas.

This sweet little gem
That makes life sublime
Shines through the bleakest of seasons.

And raises you up
From down on your knees
When the world has abandoned you, weakened.

Most notably, curiously
Friendship will sacrifice all
Just for your dreams to come true.

And now, who is interested?
Who will my first client be?
Will you, sir? madam? Will you?