Always known as the problem child
Constantly in fights, but still acting mild.
Never once have I felt like anyone cared,
People only stayed in my life if they dared.
I just want somebody to love and understand my problems,
Hoping some day, somebody will help me solve them.
Give me an answer a reason to be alive,
I just want to be free I want to survive.
Everyone only believes the outside of the picture,
and has never taken time to really study my scripture.
Never really had a parent that seems to truly love me,
Like everything they own or have is put above me.
My grandma has been there and pushed me through,
the places and things I thought I never could do.
Gotten to points where I wanted to end my life,
even got to the point I put my blood on a knife.
As I grew older I realized what I was doing,
Not letting out emotions but leaving them brewing.
So I came to the decision and knew it was right,
to find my door and to find a light.
A light to lead me from the darkness and show me my path,
I was not giving it my all I was just giving it half.
I went from everyone looking down on me even myself,
and realized I wasn’t doing anything but ruining my health.
Took paths through alcohol and drugs to get me away,
but truth is I just had to face the problems another day.
So why didn’t I just face reality when the problems were given,
instead of getting to the point of questioning why I was living.
I guess I was to scared, to lost in this crappiness,
when I just needed to learn to enjoy life with a bit more happiness.
I have done a lot of things in which I shouldn’t have tried,
I did what I wanted each time I almost died.
I cant count how many people I have hurt in many years,
the ones I have scared away and turned their love into fears.
Life maybe be hard but enjoy what you got,
turn your happiness into feelings not just a thought.
Your life will only be happy if you learn to make it,
So if you don’t want to see it im sure somebody else would take it.
Life if is a gift from some source infinite intelligence some call god,
So why try to end it or leave it abroad.