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A Ball Room
March 10, 2012
A chandelier hangs above the dancers.
Light is reflected against the stone floors.
The crowd twirls, figures moving in a blur.
In the corner, near the drinks, a man stands.
He gazes across the room, his eyes bright.
He cannot help but smile when he sees her.
She is the woman in red with dark lochs.
Diamonds cling to her throat as she moves.
She smirks before grabbing her husband’s arm.
Man and Wife swim in a sea of color.
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 23 comments.
these-roses GOLD said...
on May. 27 2012 at 10:44 am
it told a story. i really liked that
deleted said...
on May. 22 2012 at 9:10 am
Really cool idea and great imagery, keep up the good work, you have some awesome word choice in there :)
butterfly123 said...
on May. 22 2012 at 5:14 am
very coy and smart. when i read the line in which the man first sees her, i thought there was going to be a cinderella-dancing-into-happily-ever-after ending but the twist really had me. great work and keep writing :D
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Mar. 23 2012 at 3:01 pm
Thanks! it's at the top of the forums called Let Go!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Mar. 22 2012 at 6:32 pm
Yeah I wish that they did it the same way that you can change things in the forums though! I mean something!!! haha. You should send in more poems soon! Will you mind reading my two poems in the forums? I need some people to check those over before i send them in, and like no one is helping me out! lol. I want someone to give me a different point of view on them before i do anything!
dbacksgirl29 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 22 2012 at 6:00 pm
It really meant a lot to me when you commented on my poem so im doing the same for you. I really loved the image it painted in my mind. Keep writing! :)
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Mar. 22 2012 at 5:59 pm
Oh, I see! And I completely understand. I wish that was different. It's a bit annoying really!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Mar. 22 2012 at 2:20 pm
as for interpretation, I think it is a man and a woman seeing eachother across the room to dance, and it turns out that the two are a married couple. Which is nice. :))) I don't know if I'm right though!!!
thetruthawaits94 SILVER said...
on Mar. 22 2012 at 2:15 pm
I really like this! That's awesome that it's a 10x10 poem. really cool! on the second to last stanza should it be locks? not lochs? Great job!
Zero_Black BRONZE said...
on Mar. 21 2012 at 10:37 pm
very pretty! the imagery is well done and i love how you leave the "surprise" at the end. good job, for class work.
LiteraryMastermind BRONZE said...
on Mar. 21 2012 at 7:21 pm
FFLOL, a poem doesn't need to rhyme.
Special-Ice-Apples GOLD said...
on Mar. 21 2012 at 2:22 pm
Oh, wow! This is beautiful. It reminds me of "Someone Like You" by Adele. It's beautiful. I love unrequited love. However, I would have kind of prefered some rhyme to it. To me, it's not a poem unless it has rhyme. Then it's just a drabble, but this is very good for your first try. I give you four stars. :D
