Been here six long years,
In this little box I call a head.
Immaculate and white, yes, yet I have my fears,
As I fear I am just another mouth to be fed.

There is a view in this place, a glass window to one side.
That window made up of faces that do not see me hide.
How many people live in such places?
New people pass by me, day after day.
They come and they go, leaving behind no traces.
Their personalities, rather carefree and gay.
Each one just causing my depression to increase,
Knowing that each hour brings me no closer to release.
Yes, I know that it was I who gave my consignment,
But I ask you now, who of a sane head would request to dwell here in solitary confinement?

It's quiet in this box,
Sounds much livelier out there.
Exposed to easy, fluid talks,
And you think I don't care?
Through the crack under the door, names seep in and out.
Loved and celebrated, this without a doubt.
Never wanting to stick around.
Comforting voices trickle in, it's a torturous sound.
Friendly conversations that I might try to clutch.
Some people have tried reach in and touch
But the window keeps them outside,
Keep me inside,
Keep me from reaching out.
They grin and move on.
Friends and families keep them going,
Busy lives keep them flowing.
So close they are, I can see their smiles,
Lovely smiles,
They last for miles.
Walking, maturing on,
Gradually learning right from wrong.
These happy people, oh, how I adore them!
But what pain, they are not mine.
I cannot have, cannon hold, cannot afford them.
As they live outside the box
And they don’t even know how far I would go
To join them out there in the real world once again.
I work so hard, so diligently indeed
Slave to better myself, maybe they would honor me, then.
I don't want to be a burden, another case to read
I want to be useful, that much is certain
But who would have me?

The blinding white walls start closing in,
Sickness deriving from past sin.
I curl in a ball
Stuck on my bed
My shadow on the wall
As dark as my head.
Searching for reason to flee
A purpose to be
Where is mine?
To rewind, to undue the mistakes I so rue
Then everything would be fine.
But until comes that day
It is here that I stay
From yellow morn' to evening's fray.
The heartfelt laughs, the joyful cries
Of those blond haired, bronze faced beauties
Of those handsome young men and pale-face cuties
Looking on through to the soul through piercing blue eyes.
Such surprising intelligence,
Kindness sweetly resonance,
How angelic! Watch them glow.
How can they not know
That there are some that have existed,
Appearing utterly shy or unlisted,
Only as a body in the tangible world,
Souls confound to another realm.
And to approach the helm,
To take control of their ride
To steer the wheel
Guide the ship rightward bound,
Too nervous, they dig in their heel.
Turn themselves around,
Bite their lip,
And march back to their side.
Confound to a pen,
That opportunity we miss, again and again.
To seize daylight,
Weak inside, once more, we fail.
We lose the fight.
What have ever I done that was so wrong, that I may never again belong?
And beyond all comprehension, no one had forewarned
Of the danger ahead, of what I would forget
Looking back on missed adventures is all part of the regret.
Too many wasted days, having unappreciated new dawn
I stretch out my hand once more, palm toward the light
Hoping maybe I would,
That maybe someday I could,
Touch
Feel
Know their intentions are real.
Maybe someday I will take that flight.
But, oh, sweet pain, they have already gone
Left me to rot here locked up in this cell.
Don’t you all see me alone here in hell?
Is it so much to notice me here? Am I to understand my confinement isn't clear?
And then guilt, downpours rain
Storm clouds, thunder shouts in my brain
What do I honestly expect you to do? Meager me, what have I to offer you?
To tackle an problem I myself have grown is a battle I guess I must face all alone
Perhaps in some way I do deserve my time
Maybe my selfishness in itself was a crime
But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to break free.
Suddenly, though the window, the last beam of day's light.
So brilliant, it nearly blinds me
I shutter with fright
And then I see
A new door has appeared, could it really be true?
These new lines are transparent, I can practically see blue.
Escape isn't far, it's actually possible;
The grim threshold just might be cross-able.
I give it one final shot
Feet onto the floor, I rise from my cot
Stretch arms to the grand white door
The peanut gallery begins to roar
Past behind me, “Go, go!”
Future before me, “Come, come!”
“Go on, don't refuse it!”
“Come on, you can do it!”
I’m almost there
Freedom is nearly reached
Just a little inch away
Everything will be okay
But then disaster
A new force that can't be breached
I push forth even faster
There is a lock on this door
Between me and redemption
Onto my knees, I fall to the floor
The shouts begin to die
The accursed echo of exemption
My heart starts to cry
The iron walls had reformed in my hands
Hope crumbles into small grains of sand
Whisked away by a gust of wind
As flimsy as the clock's longest hand
Mysterious remains the outer land
The chance to journey has rescind.
Then the encouraging voices fade away.
Soon, I discover they were never really there.

Again, I'm all alone.
The parade leaves me cold.
Once more starts the just audible tones,
The sun continues to set, and soon, night unfolds.
Before navy, bright orange light turns into a deep, dark red,
I recede to the dark den in the back of my head.
Oh, what I would give to burst free from my prison! Destroy once and for all this white demon that has risen.
Alas, I have no such superhuman power.
The road to normality stands imposing, like a tower.
So in my little corner I cower,
Return to the living nightmare of isolation.
Face the little fuzzy TV set in the corner; lives in crackling pixel-ation.
There's a phone on the adjacent wall, but no one whom to dial.
No number, no relation, there's nobody on file.
No one to speak to about paying my bail,
Not even an ear to which I can wail.

Six long years passed since I came here,
To this little dungeon that holds my fears.
No company in here, but what truly drives me to tears
Is that the world is an oyster,
And long gone is the pearl.
I am this trapped girl,
And I have no one
But myself