I’m not an open book,
But a closed one-
A diary.
One that is locked
With a key-
The key to my heart, to my soul.
But that key
Is lost
Somewhere in the cosmos.
If anyone manages to open
This diary
Then all my thoughts, feelings and secrets
Will be revealed.
I will be uncloaked
Though the shroud of mystery surrounding me
Will not be lifted completely;
Instead,
I will be even more
Confusing and enigmatic.

The chapters of this diary
Are a kaleidoscope
Of moods and thoughts, secrets and puzzles.
Under each date,
A different feeling is described.
Sometimes many feelings-
From laughter to tears, from happiness to lachrymosa.
So many secrets
Embedded deep in my heart-
They are a part of me,
A part which no one has ever seen.
It’s a super massive black hole-
A field which pulls all my deepest secrets and fears,thoughts of gravity
Collecting them, accumulating them
Into an empty space
Occupying the centre of my heart, my nucleus
From which no light can escape.

If I ever unlock this diary-
The chronicle of my life-
I wonder
Will my thoughts be encrypted-
Glowing hieroglyphics against
A pitch black sheet.
I’ll have to decipher them, decode them
To find the hidden meaning
Which will again be nebulous, unclear
Like everything else about me.
But it will take eons
To find the key
To unlock my clasp.

Until then
My thoughts will continue
To be recorded in this diary.
With every month, a new chapter
Opens and closes,
Forming
The diary of my soul.