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Love, Pride, Pain, Weakness
I miss her so bad
I want and need her back
I know what I did was wrong
It has been at least seven months
since the pain has begun
I’ve become deathly jealous of him
I see him walk up to her
I feel unstable as the hate begins to build
I want to blow
I can’t, I won’t
I walk away to try to avoid causing pain
but it won’t leave my mind
I can see me swinging into hate
and stepping into dominance and total control
as it plays like a movie, urging to see, in my head
OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel if I am to brake again
I don’t want her angry at me again
It will kill me for her to despise me
I despise him as he hates me
he took my world and laughed in my face while he did it
I won’t let it happen again
I scream, I yell, I challenge hopping to
let myself finally brake to stop temptation
I want to tear away and let lose
I scratch and rip through layers of love
she has implanted to contain me
but with every layer torn down another
arises with the same intention of containment
but I keep going with all my determination, but go no were
All the determination of domination
punctures the hate that sores in side
as it tries to escape like a caged beast
I can’t show weakness
I see her and it calms my inner demon
that holds the very hate
that could make me kill
I must not brake
for her and the love she provides
Once again I have disgusted myself with temptation
Do I care too much
Is this a form of punishment
Why do I love like no other
I am lost in a sea of emotions
I don’t do what I must for fear of
losing that one’s love witch I value much
I can’t push or let go
I must be in love
I don’t think she knows how attached I really am
Why must this be
What shall I do
So I hide what so importantly needs to but hidden
For love, I live in pain of temptations
She is my love
She is my pride
She is my pain
She is my weakness
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