It seemed a sick, disturbed sort of love,
But purified in that sense.
Still you were the only one I'd rest my life in.
Everything else was dangerous footing;
Mortal peril, and I knew it.
How can it have felt so unnatural?
More profound than any other secret,
I've found a magic deeper,
The magic beyond the end of the earth.
Written in the cells of those around me,
I've seen it.
They have not.
And they cannot.
I will make your heart my home,
And lean against this colorless tree.
Cold wind chafes my skin, unattractive
Since I've found this knowledge.
It tears me to shreds,
This knowledge that surpasses flesh
And blood. I'd rest my life in you, you know.
It seemed sick, to this body, to this mind,
To this skin against the world.
Dirt combs me, waves wash over.
Unnatural, yes... Profound.

*****

I've found a piece of earth I never knew,
A rock cliff, an ocean cave.
I turned away, afraid, and yet,
I saw myself between the cracks,
Slipping through its densest darkness.
Stay, you whispered, stay with me, but
I did not hear a whisper among the waves.

*****

Solid rock between
A drip, drop, a ripple
An echo, then...
This dark alive.
Cold faces below in black water, glowing.
They are dead. They are me.
I lay, and naked,
Let this dark alive caress me.
I cried as though I couldn't breathe,
And thrust blindly,
Thrashing,
Searching, seeing
Grayness trees and feeling
This dark alive
Upon me.

*****

Eerie voice, eerie tune.
Two eerie, off-earth promises.
One drop of rain, two,
One million falling in
One second.
The numbest, cancerous touch
All over, from
This dark alive.
I needed to bathe.
You gave me water, but...
No,
I didn't touch it.
Now I wonder if I'll ever find it...
... my way back.
To you, I asked the question,
To the air,
Which I've realized
I am not breathing.
To you, I touched, and
Realized...
...nothing.
But this dark alive
Runs its fingertips along my pale...
nothing.

*****

A splitting scream,
"Oh love!!! For GOD!!!
... ... for God...
oh."
A sob.
Exotic, floral explosion, yet
The veil around me
Blanks it.
... and what have I become?
The deepest secret known to man...
So deep that it expands itself
In depth.
And it is kind.
It whispers.
It is no secret, but
A secret love, and
Nigh unfindable... yet...
... wants to be found, so
Naturally, no one wants to find
This most unnatural thing.

I've made it know I wished to
Keep it mine.
It whispers now, that this is not
its nature, nor mine (all-ending)
"I must expand in you," a small
reply, "to show you all the
things that you must do."

*****

I've run from it.
I've bathed in it.
I'm lost from it, and
Cannot leave this dark alive,
To move an inch to the left,
(where it rests)
And be once more
Bathed in its profundity.
What is this madness?
It has whispered, barely hear,
"I will remove this dark alive
if you will allow me."
Shameful lust!
Such a whisper goes unheard in
The moment, yet
Those words are well-known to me,
Within.
I know them.
I've known them.
I've known them all along.
...however...

*****

This dark alive caresses me
Into oblivion, such shameful
Thrusts, but I am cut,
And slapped,
Am made to bruise myself.
The aftermath breeds
A shameful loathing... and I am
Distracted from that sparking inch to the
Left,
Once more.
Once more within this cave.
What is it that was said before?
What word was whispered? Was it
Stay?
Slap!
I heard it whispered, "You can stop this. Let me help."
Perhaps...
Slap!
Perhaps not...
Once more within this cave.