I want it to rain
I want to open my arms
I want to yell

I want to yell at the world
I want to tell it how complicated
It is
And how
It doesn’t need
To be.

I want to clench my fists
I want to pry them open
I want to see my palms
See the rain
Caress the marks my nails
Have left.

I want to fall to my knees
I want to bow my head
I want to stay in one place
For hours.

I want the rain
To take my confusion
To wipe my tears away
To melt through my skin
I want the rain
And I want to stay there
On my knees
Until
It is all
Gone.

And then
I want to get back
To my feet
To stand tall
And to run
To fly
To go faster than
The wind will carry me.

I want the rain to keep
Splashing down
I want to keep running
Until
I can run no longer.

I want to fall
On the floor
To look at the skies
Shield my eyes
To realize
What I have done.

I want look at my palms
To see the nail marks
That have finally faded

And I want to lie there
To wait
Until the rain goes
Until the sky clears
Because
I have accepted it
And all I can do
Is wait.

Then
I want to get to my feet
Once more
To go back
To where I came running from
But this time
I will walk.

I will walk
I will reflect
I will think clearly.

I want to return
To where I came from
To collapse on a chair
With a cup of tea in my hands
To sit back
To close my eyes
And forget.