There once was a laddie boy named Will Dank,
He loved a girl named Mary Jane and I wonder why his car stank.
He was a short little feller,
With a curly fro in the brightest shade of yeller.

On cold days he chose to run,
And would respond well to the sound of a starting gun.
He used to run real fast,
Not even John Simons could get past.

He certainly seemed with his pipes, lighters, and bongs,
That he was auditioning for a lead role in Cheech and Chong.
His beat eyes, Grateful Dead shirts and ponchos perfected his role,
But his girlfriend was starting to take a toll.

Willie liked to meet up with Mary before school,
Some teachers found out and didn’t think that was cool.
It’s time for you to leave and go someplace new,
This time don’t fall in with the wrong crew.