How many times do I have to say
That I’m scared of living day to day?
I’m horrified, terrified, cry at night.
Afraid to see your face- a horrible fright.

But what can I do? What can I say- to keep you away?
When your metaphorical sword rips my heart each day?
How can I remain strong when I have no strength?
A mile of distance is not enough length.

I’m scared of you, a nightmare come true.
You frighten me instantly, there I turn blue.
But what can I do? What can I say?
I’m a victim of yours day after lonely day.

Was it love when you pushed me around?
Love? When you shoved me down?
Was it love whilst alone in your house,
You aggressively un-buttoned my silky blouse?

Was it love? Love? With each poisonous kiss?
To live my life- life? Life like this?
Was I living? To submit to the torture out of fear?
To hide the victimization for over a year?

Was it my fault that you taunted me?
Daunted me? Afraid for my life?
Was it love? You wanted me as your wife?
Lies, lies, preposterous bluffs,
To believe that at once I was good enough?

Was I good enough to love, good enough to assault?
Good enough to love? For you to say it was my fault?
That my blouse and jeans provoked you in some way?
My fault that I’m horrified day after day?

And the rumors, the lies you spread around school?
Lord! I’m such a piteous fool!
My fault? My fault? I let you in, besides the petty evil grin?
I lost to your power? Fear to seek help, so you win??
Is that what this all was? A competition?
An amusement park ride admission?
You had the audacity to brutally mistreat me,
Jeans on the floor, black eyes can’t see.

Bruises and blood, tell me it was love?!
Simply just tell me I wasn’t good enough.
When all I wanted was a little romance.
Was your abuse my only chance?

How often do I have to look around to see if you’re there?
Empty emotions with empty care?
How do I convince my conscience that it wasn’t me?
Bruises? Blood? Tears and screams? Can you understand? Can you see?

You called it love. Did you mean that at all?
To say you’d catch me, when I fall.
Oh! How sweet, but there’s no need to ask, “If.”
You’re the one who threw me off my own cliff.

I shouldn’t have to wonder, shouldn’t have to be afraid.
My happiness and smiles should never be delayed.
But you did this to me, just let that sink in.
I hope your evil conscious erupts out of your skin.

You terrify me, frighten me, you shoved me all around.
You cursed and yelled with that condescending frown.
Forbid I stand up for all of my beliefs, I’m just another to you,
Another victim of your games. Was it love? Was it true?