Once you love somebody, everything is scary.
Do I make them happy enough?
Am I still funny?
Are they still interested in m me?
These things are normal,
Its average relationship jitters.
However, this week I got a new worry,
a text message full of terrifying words.
*“I have something to tell you.”
-“what is it baby?”
*“:(“
-“baby tell me”
*“I found a knot under my jaw”
-“a knot? =[ you don’t think its…?”
*”yeah I do”
A conversation that stopped time.
You don’t know scared, until you’ve had it.
I felt like my world was crumbling around me.
Suddenly, you could imagine losing everything else in the world, as long as this one thing wasn’t true.
I can’t even get the words out of my mouth,
I’m glad; it would be even harder to hear.
I don’t want to think about it, too much.
If I worry it freaks you out more.
I just want you to rest your head, while I protect you from any harm.
I wish I could protect you from everything.
I could try, and try, but no matter what I do I could never protect you from this.
I need to know you’re fine.
I need to know you will be safe.
You WILL be fine.
You WILL be safe.
Everything will be okay.
You and I will be safe and sound.
We will wait, never patiently enough, but we will wait.
We will wait for it to go away.
Please, please just go away.
I can worry so much,
I can think anything I want,
but for now… ill just wait.