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Free me

October 15, 2014
By EttieGH GOLD, Mbabane, Other
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EttieGH GOLD, Mbabane, Other
15 articles 2 photos 46 comments
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"Freedom." I whispered in a laboured breath,

Free me from the chains of death

 

Free me from my daily pain

Free me from this hateful bane.

 

Love, I thought with tearful eyes

Love me where my body lies

 

Love me through my numbered days

Love me in the usual ways.

 

Peace, I prayed through sweat and tears

Find peace because I made it all these years

 

Find peace when I shut my eyes

Find peace when my body dies.

 

"Freedom." I whispered in a laboured breath,

Free me from the chains of death.

© Lauren M., Avondale, AZ

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This article has 6 comments.

EttieGH GOLD said...
on Mar. 10 2015 at 2:11 am
EttieGH GOLD, Mbabane, Other
15 articles 2 photos 46 comments
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Thanks, That's great. I was hoping it would hit the spot.
Beila BRONZE said...
on Mar. 6 2015 at 1:10 am
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
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"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

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This poem is stripped down and raw, a very unique piece that slammed me in the chest with a tornado of explosive emotions. The rhyme feels natural and works well. By the way, I love the TFIOS "numbered days" reference. :)
Allen. PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 5 2015 at 3:37 am
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
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[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

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I agree with Casey- organized very well and does not diverge from its topic. This is very well done and shows true potential.
CaseyChickenWang SILVER said...
on Feb. 1 2015 at 11:19 pm
CaseyChickenWang SILVER, McDonough,
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Love love the organization of this poem. So much emphasis on the elements of freedom 5/5
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 28 2015 at 8:26 pm
ThePoeticJustice PLATINUM, Houston, Texas
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Freedom is the mother of needs. I love the scheme here.
teacuppoetry GOLD said...
on Jan. 25 2015 at 2:38 pm
teacuppoetry GOLD, Lancashire, Other
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This is a very poignant expression of internal struggle and death