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Raw flaws

November 6, 2014
By DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
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DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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As my reflection stares back at me, it laughs at me.

It sees through my lies, no compromise, it despises me.

I try to hide myself, desguise myself, but it sees what I wont allow others to see. . .

;The real me and all my flaws, it sees me raw. 

© Maghan D., Athens, AL

The author's comments:

My self-image during this time was challenging. 

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This article has 4 comments.

DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Jan. 23 2015 at 12:18 pm
DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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That makes sense. Thank you for sharing, and challenging my writing. I'll try to mix it up, maybe even add more to it. It does seem a bit too respective now that I read it again. Thanks for your advice! I'll keep it in mind for future writing:)
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 6:49 pm
PoetAndYouKnowIt PLATINUM, Westfield, New Jersey
26 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;There will always be someone who is smarter than you. Skinnier than you. Stronger than you. More popular than you. There will always be someone better than you, but there will never be someone who is YOU.&quot;

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I agree it has potential. I think you need to add some different language and use different words in your rhyme scheme. You need to change it up. For example, you keep saying, "see". You can say, "it sees what I won't allow others to bare" or, "to witness" or something like that. It's gets way too repetitive.
DreamersJourney SILVER said...
on Nov. 18 2014 at 3:04 pm
DreamersJourney SILVER, Old Massett, Other
6 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.&quot;<br /> &quot;Decide to have an attitude of gratitude, you can become bitter or better.&quot;<br /> &quot;beYOUtiful, everyone else is taken.&quot;

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Thanks! How can I make it better?
-Mavis- BRONZE said...
on Nov. 14 2014 at 5:01 pm
-Mavis- BRONZE, Hilo, Hawaii
2 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;pretty words are worth being cynical over, for they are just baits to be caught in the moment.&quot; -mavi<br /> <br /> &quot;What exactly would change if I cried, wanted revenge, was consumed by hatred, or went insane with rage?&quot; -Yoshino <br /> <br /> &quot;I am your shadow. Worry not for if your light is dim, I will become darker so that you can become more defined.&ldquo; -mavi<br /> <br /> &quot;We create beautiful things to mask what we destroyed in order to create such.&rdquo; -mavi

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this poem has potential.