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Sheepish Snow

December 31, 2008
By Meliskerx3 SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
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Meliskerx3 SILVER, Norwalk, Connecticut
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The Snow whispers softly in the brisk winter's wind
It tickles the ground
The trees giggle when they stick together
The cat's out of the bag now
And the short romance of the snow and the ground begins

Though the snow is cold
The ground still loves her
She comes and goes as she pleases
But he doesn't mind
He waits for her until she comes back
He'll always be there

She's wild and unsure of what she wants
She can't stand the heat
And crunches under pressure
She's fragile

He's strong and durable
He can take whatever is thrown at him
He's happy no matter what, hot or cold
And when she comes around, he gives her what she needs
Love
And then he watches his love melt away time after time
But he's always there for her, because she's all that matters

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This article has 13 comments.

thomas said...
on Jan. 13 2009 at 10:36 pm
Melissa:

You are the best! keep writting, I hope you get published one day.
chocolately said...
on Jan. 12 2009 at 10:50 pm
omg melissa!! that was adorable!! i absolutely love it!
bangbang harder said...
on Jan. 10 2009 at 12:01 am
Very nice poem, pip pip cheerio and all that
Slipknotsemo said...
on Jan. 9 2009 at 12:39 am
iGREAT! lol and alot happier i see.... thats good XD and OMG i lvoe witner....well i hate it btu its nice once every year ( i expecialy love snow )
Max said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 11:56 pm
This is a great poem Melissa! I loved it. You have a talent, keep it up :)
anonymous said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 11:38 pm
pretty good. i'm not a big fan of poetry in general, so i kinda have a bias. But the metaphors were nicely done.
Zcpoboy said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 11:08 pm
As perfect as perfect gets
ILuVsaRaH said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 11:02 pm
This poem has to be about a bad relationship or something i wasnt a big fan...it was a good start...
Meliskerx3 said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 10:52 pm
Thanks, "Mr Joe" but next time you comment something, you might want to be a bit nicer. I worked quite hard on this poem for you to bash it like that.



I believe that what you said could have been in a nicer tone, I feel very offended from what you said.
Baylee said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 10:42 pm
This is a great poem.

I love how you represent the snow and the ground.
mr joe said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 10:32 pm
The poem is a clear example of a premature writer, describing too much and using too many unnecessary words. In this poem, repetition is used in the form of rephrasing many things and telling everything in a clear but unpoetic way. The poem lost all credibility after the cliche "the cat's out of the bag" was used. Cliche's can be used, but not as part of the poem, it is better if it is used to mock at or reflect at.



You need to show, not tell (as you would have learned in 7th grade). Once you get that down, you will be able to write in a very poetic way.
welshy169 said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 10:24 pm
Awesome, very creative..... Great vibe
Qatr1105 said...
on Jan. 8 2009 at 9:36 pm
Great poem :) loved it.