Driving down a jagg'd road
I see your fa'ade fading away in my rear-view mirror.
There you were, your back towards me,
helpless,
anxious and awaiting,
our last goodbye.

You had wanted to leave before me
To avoid the pain of separation.
My tear-filled eyes, my distraught smile
And the dwelling ache of letting go.

The truth was that our roads diverged;
We were not the same people we used to be.
The valor would remain everlasting,
Our fervor could never grow faint.
Distance would separate us
But it would never end us.

The journey home was distressful.
I apprehensively resorted to my phone
Every moment I thought of you.
Before I boarded my flight,
I lingered by the gate, waiting for you to come save me,
Take me away with you
But it was over. I don't mind. You don't care.

You left me again. That night home was filled with tears.
Joyful tears, heart-rendering tears,
Tears cried and re-cried.

My journey back home was in fact a journey
departing from the only place that felt like home.
Chicago had become my home. It was where you were.
The familiarity I felt there
I no longer felt anywhere else.

You had become a habit,
The city a dwelling,
The lake an escape,
And freedom, an expectation.

I could no longer walk across the hall,
Peep into your propped open door at all hours of the night,
The close proximity no longer existed.
The walks through Millennium park became memories.

That's all that remained.
Throbbing heartaches,
Unrealistic fantasies
And inerasable memories.
As real as they all seem; they only exist in my dreams.