For a long time we were meant to be.
But people change.
Life changes.
We kept trying,
To desperately put the pieces of the shattered glass back together.
When I tried, your words would cut me like glass.
The small droplets tainting the marble floor.
I strived to close the wounds, but the pieces were stuck.
They became smaller and smaller,
Making a home in my skin.
Meanwhile, all the droplets would turn into puddles.
That’s when I realized that I had to clean the wound.
I let the warm water fall onto my hands.
Of course it hurt,
The sharp sting invading my skin,
The miniscule pieces dropping to the bottom of the sink.
It was painful,
But I knew I had to do it.
Because having glass in your skin,
Is so much more agonizing than just washing it out.
Hopelessly attempting to put us back together,
When all I got was pain.
That’s when I realized that we were irreplaceably broken.
You are not the boy that I fell in love with.
You are no longer the shy insecure guy,
With the darkness glooming behind his doe brown eyes.
You are no longer the man who would do anything,
Just to see a grin appear upon my face.
You are no longer the boyfriend who considered himself,
Endlessly lucky to have me in his life.
You are no longer the boy I fell in love with.
I want that boy back more than anything in the entire world.
But I know that he’s gone.
He died a long time ago.
Along with the girl I used to be.
I used to be so desperately sad,
Clinging onto any string of hope,
That could possibly make me happy again.
For awhile you I thought were my hope.
And you did make me happy again.
But happiness can’t last forever.
Especially if someone else gives it to you.
You used to make me feel so safe.
That nothing bad would ever happen,
As long as I was in your arms.
But I didn’t notice you loosening your grip.
I would have to beg you to hold me closer.
Hold me close to your heart so I can hear it beating.
So I know that I still have it.
Hold me,
To not let me go.
Hold me,
To help me save myself.
But you didn’t even hold me then.
You just let me fall.
My white bones crisply snapping in half.
The dark red blood,
Bursting out of my once snow white skin.
You could’ve helped me.
You could’ve mended the cuts and tares.
But you just watched me lay there,
Going through endless agony.
I screamed your name.
Over and over again.
But it was if no one was there.
It echoed off of the cold hollow walls.
I thought I was left there to die.
But somehow, someway,
I slowly began to heal.
The wounds beginning to mend themselves back together.
My cotton candy bones,
Transforming themselves into rock hard iron.
My pathetic branches of limbs,
Growing to be strong oak trees.
I could now move my fingers instantly.
Something that used to take me months to do.
I basked in my success.
That’s when you chose to come back.
You would hold me again.
And say you were sorry,
You claimed it would never happen again.
When I finally allowed you to hold me in your arms.
That’s when I would crash to the ground.
The gaping scarlet wounds screeching.
Begging.
For you.
But it was if you had never been there at all.
I kept calling for you, to hear your voice once again,
But all I got was the voice of silence.
I remember when I first gave you my heart.
You used to hold it so gingerly in your hands.
You told me nothing bad was ever going to happen to it.
Until you tore it apart.
It was so easy for you.
You ripped it like paper.
You dropped it like glass.
And it shattered.
And now I have to pick up the pieces once again.
And this time, I’m okay with that.
Because I know you won’t be there for it.