long days, even longer nights

i wait for you to make that first step through the door,

always worried it will be the last “i love you” we ever exchange.

i wish it never had to be like this.

you-

stressed.

frustrated.

exhausted.

it kills me to see you like this.

always shrouded in a cloak of mystery, one that i will never fully understand.

i wish that you cared even the slightest bit about yourself,

because you are my

everything

and i would be nothing without you.

my entire world would crash and burn,

just like the cigarettes you always seem to have lit when you can be you…

the true you.

happy.

bright.

full of joy and life.

it never disappoints me to see your eyes shine so bright.

but,

it pains me to watch every drag of smoke you take,

because i know

deep down

     you

struggle

and sometimes it is the only thing that helps.

but…

the truly best moments are when i can be the firefighter to battle the smoke away.

watching the dark and dense smog fade,

having everything bask in the bright light of your burning light.

loving

caring

and truly

Beautiful.