Sometimes you'll sit alone until you think about what happened.  
Sometimes you'll try and fix it.  
Often, you'll try and fix it. 
You'd always try and fix it.  
 
When it happened, you lost half of your heart.  
Like you forgot what's supposed to happen after the first step. 
You'll find yourself doing things like save their seat, 
buy their candy, reread your text messages. 
 
Don't keep doing that.  
Because eventually you'll cry yourself restless. You'll cry yourself restless anyways.  
You'll find yourself wishing it got better. It will later.  
Later isn't anytime soon. 
 
 Repeat yourself. I’m over it. I’m not mad anymore 
Blame your panic attacks on... Who am I kidding?  
We all know everything causes those panic attacks. 
 
The first time isn't anything like this time but, 
you can't help but feel as if you should've given up the first time.  
Then you'll write about them. That's something you should never give up. 
Because even if they can't read them, when you die someone will.  
 
Never stop loving them. Because when you remember those smiles, 
those amazing smiles... you'll always be happy.  
 
Sometimes you’ll sit to yourself and think, maybe I could’ve. but maybe you could’ve and now  
you can’t.  
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what should’ve could’ve, would’ve 
They would’ve cared except, they didn’t  
and you would’ve been happy but now you aren’t 
 
When you see them walk past you feel your body move toward them 
Turn directions, but feel that pain in your heart, the heart that their names scribbled all over 
These problems you’re having are difficult and infallible.  
 
Yet you keep telling yourself they’re temporary  
They aren’t. 20 years from now you will remember this feeling 40 years from now,  
it’ll still hurt to know how it ended. Okay.  
You’re okay. For now, but for god’s sake. Talk to him.