I have watched this child

Forever

Even when my tired eyes and my weak heart

Couldn’t get me out of my bed

And even when I was dead

And gone

I watched you for the sky

It hurt to watch you cry so much

But I knew I couldn’t do anything for you

You sit in your window

Your stained glass window

Watching the stars pass

You mind is beginning to fog

They say you're thinking too much

But you know

That this feeling

Isn’t right

The pain of your loveless life begins to nip at your heels

You see

There

Waiting at your bedside

The gleaming eyes of death

He sits and whispers and feeds ideas into your head

And you

You listen to those painful whispers

You think that no one loves you

And think they never will

No one will miss you

But before you let the hands of death catch you

Another pair of hands catch you

As the warm hands pull you up you hear sirens and whimpering cries

That was about 10 years ago

Now You sit in your window

Your stained glass window

Looking for him

He likes your cooking which makes you happy

You have finally found someone who likes you

These tiny capsules keep you happy for now

But even a whole bottle of those tiny little capsules

Can’t keep you happy forever

But you keep in deaths whispers in the back of your head

Locked away behind that little door

That nothing

Nothing

Can get out for that door

Or so you thought

That night seemed long and your eyes

Heavy

He laughs at on what on TV

You crawl form your mind space

But by the time your back

Out of your mind

He is gone

The floor falls from under you

You can feel your precious little capsules failing

You try to hold your little door closed

Keep your string tight around the finger

That keeps your brain held together

As you turn to look

He appears next to you

And you can feel the door and the string disappear

Death’s whispers beginning to crawl through your lips

And your brain to begins to fall apart

You can’t see his face through your clouded eyes

You can’t hear his voice through your screams and cries

But you can feel his warm hands and tears fall around you

And once your voice was gone

You could hear his sobs and whispers of sweet things

You

For the first time in the many painful years of your life

You could not hear death’s whispers

Or his cold fingers clawing at you

You felt happy

Without your tiny capsules

Even though you were crying

That was 6 years ago

You sit in the window

The stained glass window

That is no longer yours

And you see your child

Your light

And the one who held you tight and cried that night

Laughing and loving the light that hits your warm hands

You see their smiles and you feel warm and happy

A happiness that your tiny capsules could not give you

I sit and watch you be happy with that little light of yours

The person who can give you more than I ever could

And even when you left this place and went far off

I still sat at my place in the sky and waited for you to come home

I watched as the people who loved you most

Created a colorful home for you to return to

And you did

You came back to the place you had lived your entire life

And you were happy

Happier than I could I ever make you

So I pray for you in your stained glass window

that those whispers of death don’t come back to you

And that those tiny capsules

Are not the only thing that make you smile like that

That you will never think

Your mother didn’t love you

And that you can live long and healthy

So that those years of pain and loneliness

Are nothing more than a nightmare

I pray that you can look

Out of your stained glass window

For many more year to come