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The Stranger
Lately I’ve been counting floor tiles and rearranging the empty plastic bottles on my desk
My bed is never made
My coat is never worn
and my sweatshirts hang like melting snow clinging to barren trees
I am never quite here
never in the present at least
Like the stranger wavering in the doorway I can’t really bring myself to move
Inside I am unwelcome
outside I am alone
I am never quite still
never steady
My hands are pebbles tapping at the glass window
waiting
waiting
I am never quite sure where I stand
by the door or by the window or somewhere in between
I can’t seem to recognize the stranger outside the window
or if I should give them shelter from the storm
See how I can’t let anyone through the door
not even the person who looks like me
Look at the way I count the tiles and rearrange the bottles
without ever really entering the room
Hear that figure whispering to me that she will wait for as long as it takes
Feel the way my hands flutter like quivering leaves
Listen to my heart pulsing like trapped fireflies against a glass jar
how they glow brighter with every beat
Wait
for me to give in to their hauntings
to recognize this confusing weather beaten labyrinth as my mind
How it never knows how to stop counting tiles and throwing pebbles
even/especially when it enters the room.
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