Birthday candles blown out by my breath,

A whist whisper,

People ask me what I wished for

With that silent exhale of a murmur.

I say, “World Peace.”

But really who am I kidding?

Fairy-tale endings aren’t my belief.

I’m an atheist, you see,

I don’t listen to the universe's signs

And look to the sky when it starts raining

Just because I was thirsty

For a little truth in this desert of lies.

And please don’t act surprised,

We have all told some lies.

In this world of black and white,

Segregation and separation,

Politics are on my mind.

The pledge of allegiance rings in my ears as school begins

The voices of my classmates reciting the lyrics.

Sometimes they’re laughing sometimes screaming

Drowning in the lies that each other tell

Never finding the island of truth,

It’s shore just a few feet away.

They can never separate the real from the fake

Like “fake-news”, a phrase used so often it could

Probably be put in a dictionary,

Read by all the public.

The people,

The believers,

The prayers,

The dreamers,

The criers.

Yes, we all have shed some tears

But now I’m done giving into the years I have been alive

It is no longer an excuse to not wipe my eyes

And instead I’ll suck it up

And let my eyes sting as the tears dare to break free,

And if I give in, and let a tear roll down my cheek

I’ll will my sobs be silent

Blaring only in my own beating ears.

My own beating heart;

My blood dances to the pulse of my own beating heart,

Drumming to the beat of the music in my earbuds

That I wear around.

Not listening to the horrifying words

That come from my classmates’ mouths.

Just drown it out,

I just have to drown them out,

As I drown in the truth that I can’t drown them out

Because the music isn’t loud enough.

I cry alone at home but now I refuse to let my tears show,

Instead I cry out in my head that I lay upon

My twin-sized bed in my room,

To which I shut the door.

I sleep silently.

Night passes now it’s day,

The sun peeks out from the horizon,

So very far away.

If I were religious I’d bless the sun

For it’s warmth and light it sheds down upon

Me and if I were religious I’d curse the rain clouds

That cry tears onto me

Because the world has enough tears as it is

And enough fake wishes

That will never come true.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s just me,

Or if others can see the grey in between

The black and white,

Day and night,

Right and wrong.

Because sometimes you aren’t all in the wrong,

Sometimes the sun is just rising,

Sometimes black and white are merged,

And you’re left with a shade of grey.

But until others see the in-between,

I’ll just drown them out,

Along with the screams from my head

That I muffle in my pillow.

Every evening I decompress the stress building up

Inside me.

I put in my earbuds,

And drown out the lies.