No sun

No clouds 

No sky blue or threatening grey 

There is nothing 

Questions of how I am trigger an “I’m well” reflex 

I can’t even express myself anymore 

I have always held a pencil in my hand and wrote with a fire burning inside me 

But there is no longer oxygen to feed the flame

In this state of mind I find myself living inside the shell of the person I used to be

I don’t belong anymore 

My words are empty and hollow 

Ghosts of passion’s past 

No metaphors will soothe my sickness 

No similes will help me fake a smile 

All that is left is an expressionless face 

And an echo of who I was 

My thoughts consist of scratch, cut, hit or die and honestly I have lost so much of the strength that keeps me from fighting my urges 

So much of me wants to let go and be done with being hurt and damaged 

Existence doesn’t feel worth it anymore 

But until I give in

I will end this with a semi-colon 

although I am dead inside and am standing on the edge of this cliff

I’m still holding on 

Maybe I might stay until the sky comes back 

The weather where I live changes in the blink of an eye 

So maybe this will too ;